My first uncomfortable kid question....

Sorry I don't post on this thing much anymore. Other more important things have taken priorty. And I don't really think my fans are in an uproar or anything.

When I was a kid, we would visit my Dad most weekends when we lived in Texas. And every Sunday morning we would go up to Dairy Queen in Kaufman, eat breakfast, then drive out to the cemetary to see my grandfather's grave. It was just something we did. And one of the few "traditions" I had as a kid.

So now that I have my own kids, I've started doing something similar with my son. Every Sunday morning we go get donuts for the family, and then drive to the cemetary to see my grandfather's grave. Everything was fine for a while, until my son started wondering where my grandfather actually was. I could explain for a while that "He's in heaven". But the actual question of death never came up.

Until this weekend.

"When is he coming back Daddy?"

"Why do we die?"

"Where is heaven?"

"Are there a lot of toys in heaven?"

"Is God awesome?"

"If we are bad boys, do we die?"

"We need to pray for Grandma so she doesn't have to die because she's sick"

Obviously this conversation took some time. I didn't really know what to say. But I explained the best I could. "Heaven is up there. God IS awesome. Grandpa is not coming back, he's waiting on us to visit him. No we can't visit him right now. There are a TON of toys in heaven. Everyone dies whether you are good or bad. Grandma will be fine, but we just need to keep praying for her." And so on.

I like the fact that he's trying to figure things out. I really do. But I'm nervous that this is the start of something I'm going to have to really work on. I don't want to give the wrong answers. And I find myself just settling on something every once in a while just because I know that if I explain it that he probably won't understand. Or will he? Who knows.

I didn't really think anything would be uncomfortable until the whole "birds and the bees" conversation, which I never got by the way. But I was wrong. This happened a LOT earlier than I anticipated. And since he's just like me and tries to figure things out, I know this is the start of many other things to come. Makes me nervous.

September 3rd, 2009

Is it ironic that shortly after I post something about lightning, that our house actually gets struck by lightning? Maybe. Is it ironic that throughout one of the toughest times of my short life that God speaks to us through "bolts of lightning"? Probably not.

I'm not going to give a testimony. And I won't bore anyone with details and insight into the reasons as to why this really did happen. But I'm at a crossroads in my walk. And from the outside it may look like I have the luck of a piece of toilet paper. But there's a real calming effect about what has transpired over the past few weeks. And in no way am I down because of the things that have happened to me and my family. In fact, I've been rejuvinated if anything. Just because of the way this happened, the timing, and personal reasons as to why.

But the strike itself is worth documenting.

It was September 3rd. Ever since Conner was a baby, I've put him to sleep. He's never been the type to just tuck in and leave. He wants that sense of security of me being there when he does fall asleep. And I don't mind at all. In fact, I like it because it gives me personal time with my son away from all the distractions outside of his bedroom. So we watched our nightly Wubbzy episode and went to sleep. I usually lay there for about 30 minutes with him until I know he's out. Then I get up, tuck him in and go back downstairs. And this particular night we were FINALLY looking like we were in for some rain. When I walked back downstairs it was about 9:00PM. All of the lights were off in the living room. Lou had already made it to bed. But as I was walking through the living room, the flashes of light from the lightning coming through the windows was mezmerizing. I had been going through some difficult things in my personal life away from home, and really needed some time to myself. And I took this as one of those opportunities. I decided to go out on the back patio and just watch the storm for a while. There's always been something about storms that are really calming to me. At least until they arrive and all hell breaks loose.

I moved a patio chair around so that I could relax and just watch the storm on the horizon. It was the perfect situation for me. And exactly what I needed. The storm was miles away, above the tree line to which I was looking at. And it didn't seem to be moving very fast so I was able to watch it for about 30 minutes. In those 30 minutes I was able to reflect on everything that was going on and even pray in the perfect, calming environment. The lightning was dancing in the clouds constantly. But in a way to where every time I asked a question, it seemed as though I was being answered by the strikes. I know, cuckoo cuckoo. But it is what it is. And knowing that someone is listening to your prayers is probably the best feeling I've ever had.

The storm itself finally started moving a little too close for me to be sitting outside. So I decided to go in. But I had a bad feeling the entire time. Like something might happen. I didn't know what yet, but I knew something. So I went out to the garage and grabbed every flash light that I had and brought them into the bedroom. Lou immediately asked me what I was doing, to which I told her "I have no idea, but something tells me I just need to be ready". She passed it off as me just being crazy, and I was beginning to think I might be too. I placed the flash lights around the room, on the night stands and in the bathroom, just in case. Then I immediately went upstairs to start unplugging everything I could think of. I started with the computer and started going down the line. Until I realized what I was doing and told myself I was crazy. So I stopped and headed back down to bed. By this time the storm was almost here. I again told Lou that I just had an uneasy feeling about this and that we should turn on the TV just to see what the weather guys were saying about what was going on. She agreed so we watched for about 5 minutes or so. It was just generic weather updates. Telling us yes it's a storm and yes it's bad. But there was no imminent danger like tornadoes, monsoons, or typhoons so we turned it off and got ready for bed. I told Lou that she really needed to see this storm. The lightning itself was something to marvel at. So I got out of bed and opened the blinds so she could see it. We watched for about five minutes or so until I realized she was thinking, "Ok dude, it's a storm with rain and lightning. We've seen a million of these things". So I got back up and closed the blinds. Crawled back into bed, said all of our good nights, and lay there waiting for my eyes to close. From that point it wasn't but about 10 minutes until the unthinkable happened. Lightning had struck our house.

Immediately the walls started shaking. The crackling sound and "boom" were unimaginable. The windows in our bedroom began to bow, moving in and out and causing the blinds to shake back and forth. The whizzing sound of electricity racing through the walls was as eerie a sound as I've ever heard. All of the fire alarms in the house immediately went off. The siren sound was deafening. And of course the first thing we did was run upstairs to get the kids. At that point we didn't realize what had happened damage wise. And the house itself could very well be on fire. The only thought running through my head was to get the family out of the house. I grabbed Conner and Lou grabbed Addison and we ran into the garage and loaded the kids up in the car. While I was running through the living room I noticed that the fireplace had come on by itself. And the smell of natural gas was pretty stout. So of course the first thing going through my head is that the lightning had totally busted a gas line, which made me even more nervous. After the kids were loaded up I drove around the neighborhood so I could see every angle of the house and make sure it wasn't on fire. And luckily for us, it wasn't. I pulled back into the driveway and left the family in the car while I went inside and tried to figure out what was going on with the gas. The only thing I could think of was to just shut the gas off so that's what I did. But not only was the smell of gas horrible, there was also the smell of burning wires all over the place. When everything seemed to be ok, well not ok but safe at least, we brought the kids back in and put them to bed while I tried to assess what had actually happened.

I had to take the batteries out of all of the smoke detectors first so that they would stop whining. The lightning strike had burned up anything that had batteries in it for some reason. Including the AC thermostat. All of our electrical components were ruined also. All of the satellite boxes, multiswitch, and satellite itself. All radios or surround sound were fried. Including DVD players, etc. Our tankless hot water heater was melted. The upstairs AC unit, gone. There were burnt plugs upstairs which makes me think that the lightning may have actually shot out of those outlets at some point. Any fans that were plugged in. The fireplace is obviously fried as well. Pretty much anything that was on that side of the house was ruined. It ended up being about $12K worth of damage. Something we DEFINITELY didn't need at the moment. And what's worse is our deductible which was ridiculously high. But not as high as the damage so it had to be paid. We still don't have an insurance check yet so we are currently out of pocket for all of those expenses. Talk about bad timing from a financial stand point. But perfect timing from a faith stand point.

My luck over the years has just been pathetic. Whenever something bad happens to me I just remind myself that I spent all of my lot of good luck on my family. It was a risk I was willing to take putting all of my luck into one basket. But in doing that, all I have left is the bad. And I'll deal with it the rest of my life as long as my family is safe and sound. But now I realize it was so much more than that. Trying to find positive answers in the midst of a terrible situation is usually impossible. Unless you look beyond the situation itself. I needed a sign. And I hate myself for that because it's an admission that your faith is weak. But a sign is exactly what I got. A wake up call that just reaffirmed that I'm not alone in anything I'm going through. And that the petty problems of this world mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. From one bolt of lightning my life was changed. But not as most would think. Yes, it's a pain in the arse to get all of this worked out and spending money that you don't have to fix your problems. But what's so much more important was the message and reaffirmation that I'm not alone.

Yes, most will shout cuckoo cuckoo. And that's fine. No one needs to understand except myself. And September 3rd, 2009 will stick with me the rest of my life. As one of the most positive experiences of my life. And not because of the worldly things that I lost.

Kids

Nostalgia in the form of......

GI Joe.

I'm about to dork out so be fore warned. But that's what this blog is right? My personal dork platform? And for anyone who used to like GI Joe, don't act like the poster to the right right here of the new Snake Eyes doesn't get your pants all jumpin around.

A little background first. I was the BIGGEST GI Joe fan on the planet when I was a kid. I had every action figure imaginable. Even the special order Cobra Commander with the long blue vail that you could only get by buying 17000 boxes of cereal and mailing in the UPC labels. But I did what I had to do to get him. And I did by the way, which probably explains my love for cereal later in life. Anyway, I had everything. I had Roadblock's ATV vehicles, tanks with removable bridge apparatus (aparati?) to make your own bridge if the old one happened to be taken out by Serpentor or Destro, snow mobiles, guns, everything. Being that I lived in Dallas or the big city most of my childhood, we couldn't really have fireworks in the city limits. So I broke the law, brought some back into Dallas from my Dad's house, and blew up the entire Cobra Command Unit with Blackcats. Each figurine was held together inside by these black rubber band things. So you could pull apart the torso from the legs and insert a Blackcat with the wick sticking out. Then set them up wherever you wanted, and light the Blackcat. Big fun. I would even put together my own obstacle courses where I would extend out each figures arms like they were standing there with arms straight out side to side. Then I would lay my bicycle down on the ground, make sure the front wheel was loose and able to spin, then spin the crap out of it while I held the Joes and Cobras from above, dropping them into the "Spokes of Death". If they happened to hang on, they lived. If not, they met an untimely death. Needless to say I was the biggest GI Joe dork west of the Mississippi. I could go on for days.

So I had big expectations yesterday when I went to see the new GI Joe movie. Which by the way is getting killed by the critics but who would have expected anything less right? I make it a point to see every movie that the critics deem "crappy" because those are usually the ones that I like. I mean, anyone who can bash Dumb and Dumber and Tommy Boy in the same sentence shouldn't be allowed into movie theaters. But I do have to say that I totally understand why the bashing is taking place for this movie.

I think the main problem is that they tried to appeal to everyone. If you weren't a GI Joe fan from back in the day, they wanted to nab you too. So there was a lot of useless explanations throughout the movie. Like how Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow became enemies. How Destro came to be who he is. Bla bla bla. And those moments seemed forced really. But I didn't care. Seeing Snake Eyes on the big screen was like I was 8 years old again. I loved Snake Eyes as a kid. He was by far my fav. And I cherished his figurine and didn't let it ever get damaged in battle. Honestly, there were times in the movie when I wanted to lean over and tell someone "Hey, that's the Baroness" before anyone knew who she was but of course I didn't. I just stayed in my little giddy shell for the entire movie and enjoyed it for what it was. A terrible movie made for today's kids, but still interesting enough to grab the attention of the old school faithful.

All of the characters were fine I guess. Except for "General Hawk" played by Dennis Quaid. Really dorked out the bad assness of the general and didn't seem to fit the part. That, "Ripcord" was now a Wayans but white in the original cartoon, and "Breaker" was a dorky little guy. Not to mention he was all muscles in the cartoon, but not so much here. But what makes all of these character blunders even better was that Sienna Miller played "Baroness", and she is always a lovely actress. Man, she can act! Not so much, but she's hotter than haites and now in my top 5 for good.

It really was a bad movie. No denying that. But it was smart to make this movie. To draw in all of us thirty somethings who want to take a quick time trip back to our youths. And of course they were smart enough to leave it open ended so there will be sequels. Maybe in the next one we'll finally see some more characters. Like "Barbeque", "Alpine", "Gung Ho", "Mainframe", "Quick Kick", "Sgt. Slaughter", "Tomax and Xamot" (the two brothers who could always feel each others pain. plus the action figures used to change colors), and "Zartan".

Yes, I can hear your mind screaming NERD ALERT. But I don't care. This was my S back in the day.

Oh and by the way, a forced "Knowing is half the battle" line was thrown in the movie too. Puke.

It's a lot like chicken soup, tastes like crap but is "good for the soul".

Thanks, I'll be here all week.

Lightning

*It's been a long while since I've posted anything on here. Busy is my excuse I guess. But I had this post written months ago and forgot to post it. So two months late, here we go.

So lightning.

I stumbled upon this recently when we had those HUGE lightning storms a few weeks ago. I was talking to a friend and we started discussing lightning in general. Sharing stories on the subject to which I actually have two. But to sumarize them fairly quickly, my house was struck by lightning when I was a youngster living in Richardson. I'll never forget it. The whole house shook like we were having an earthquake. Crazy. And the other story was fairly recently. I was driving home down 175 in the bottoms between Combine and Crandall. It was raining pretty bad and all of a sudden a bolt of lightning shot down from the sky and hit a fence post right off the highway. It might have been the coolest thing I'd ever seen. There was a strike, then a glowing ball of green stuff about the size of a car. Kind of looked like a green jellyfish. The green blob danced for about 3 seconds, then went away and burst into flames as it burnt the grass around the pole. Really cool.

But anyway, the question was brought up as to what "lightning" really is? And that's yet another one of those things that I have no idea about. So in nerdy fashion, I had to research it and try to figure it out. But with all of the reading and studying I did, I came to find out that really the scientists don't know what it is either. Everyone has a theory, but no one knows for sure.

None the less, here's some facts that I found about lightning.

Lightning is an atmospheric discharge of electricity usually accompanied by thunder, which typically occurs during thunderstorms.

Lightning can also occur within ash clouds from volcanic eruptions, or can be caused by violent forest fires which generate sufficient dust to create a static charge.

Ice inside a cloud is thought to be a key element in lightning development, and may cause a forcible separation of positive and negative charges within the cloud, thus assisting in the formation of lightning.

The average peak power output of a single lightning stroke is about a terawatt and the stroke lasts for around 30 microseconds.

Lightning rapidly heats the air in it's immediate vicinity to around 20,000 degrees celcius (or 36,000 F), about three times the temparature of the surface of the sun. This compresses the surrounding clear air and creates a supersonic shock wave which decays to an acoustic wave that is heard as thunder.

NASA scientists have found the radio waves created by lightning clear a safe zone in the radiation belt surrounding the earth. This zone, known as the Van Allen Belt slot, can potentially be a safe haven for satellites, offering them protection from the Sun's radiation.

When the electrical field becomes strong enough, an electrical discharge (the bolt of lightning) occurs within clouds or between clouds and the ground. During the strike, successive portions of air become a conductive discharge channel as the electrons and positive ions of air molecules are pulled away from each other and forced to flow in opposite directions.

The electrical discharge rapidly superheats the discharge channel, causing the air to expand rapidly and produce a shock wave heard as thunder. The rolling and gradually dissipating rumble of thunder is caused by the time delay of sound coming from different portions of a long stroke.

Gound-to-cloud lightning is a lightning discharge between the ground and a cumulonimbus cloud initiated by an upward-moving leader stroke. IT IS MUCH RARER THAN CLOUD-TO-GROUND LIGHTNING.

The two most frequently struck tree types are the oak and the elm. Pine is a close second.

An old estimate of the frequency of lightning on Earth was 100 times a second. Now that there are satellites that can detect lightning, including places where there is nobody to observe it, it is known to occur on average 45 times a second, for a total of nearly 1.4 billion flashes per year. 80% of those flashes are in-cloud and 20% are cloud-to-ground.

In the US, central Florida sees more lightning than any other area. Also called "lightning alley".

The Empire State Building is struck by lightning on average 23 times each year, and was once struck 8 times in 24 minutes.

Roy Sullivan held a Guinness World Record after surviving 7 different lightning strikes across 35 years.

In July 2007, lightning killed up to 30 people when it struck a remote mountain village Ushari Dara in northwestern Pakistan.

In 1902, a lightning strike damaged the upper section of the Eifel Tower, requiring the reconstruction of its top.

The deadliest lightning strike since 1983 occured November 2, 1994, when lightning struck fuel tanks in Dronka, Egypt and caused 469 fatalities.

80% of the people injured or killed by lightning are men.

2/3 of all lightning strikes occur between noon and 6 P.M.

560 US residents are injured or killed by lightning each year.

A single lightning bolt could power a 100-watt light bulb for 3 years.

Rubber tires do NOT offer protection from a lightning strike.

You shouldn't ride out a storm under a rain shelter or tree because of their height.

You can NOT be electrocuted by touching a person who was just struck by lightning.

Lightning is second to floods as the leading cause of storm-related deaths in the United States.

The intense pain from a lightning strike is not what kills you, it's the fact that the shock usually stops the heart.

So bottom line, I didn't find out much of anything important. But the useless facts are pretty amazing I have to say. Scientists still don't really know what lightning really is. There are merely theories from nerd to nerd. So we may never really know how lightning actually happens. And the myth I've always heard about lightning usually going from the ground up is BS. That's actually very rare.

And what have we learned here? Lightning is cool, but dangerous. Pick and choose your battles wisely.

Translucent Disappearing Act

I don't know how to even start this really. But I'm sure there comes a time in everyone's life where emotions are siphoned from inside the body that were previously unknown even existed. And that's exactly what happened to me yesterday on my 4th wedding anniversary. For reasons that you might not think.I've said it a million times how blessed I consider myself. God has been good to me and my family. And I've had to deal with very little "loss" if any in my time here on earth. And disease has really been a thing that existed only in the media up until this point in my life.

Within the past year or so, my ex-stepfather has come down with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). Unlike a lot of family relationships that burn with the divorce of members, this one was different. They left one another on decent terms. And I've had a pretty good relationship with my now ex-stepfather for years. It didn't take long after the split for him to develop the early stages of this disease. And it's gotten progressively worse over the past year or so.

I am very untrained in the medical industry, so what little I know about ALS is what I've seen first hand in my step-father's life. And like any disease, it's slowly deteriorating his physical body. And mentally of course, but from another stand point. Not from actual brain attacks or anything. The disease has broken down his body where he doesn't have control over much of anything anymore and is extremely weak at all times. He should really be in a wheel chair, but is a little too prideful for that so instead he uses a cane or walker when he has to try and get around. His speech is now slurred to the point where you really have to listen closely to understand anything he is saying. And this man is only in his 50's.I don't understand why God does some of the things he does. I think that's the point, we aren't supposed to understand. But some things just don't seem right in the scope of the bigger picture. And the fact that a 50 year old man can deteriorate that rapidly in a matter of years is just unfathomable. And probably the hardest thing I've ever had to see with my own eyes.

I always wondered as a kid why my own father would distance himself from health related issues when it came to his own family. But I have a little better understanding now as to why he acted the way he did. Whether I think it was right or wrong. He did it because he wanted to remember the person as the person he knew. And not remember them in a state that wasn't on par with who they actually were while they were here and healthy. There were times I can remember when he would stay home or in a waiting room and not want to go see the family member who was really struggling with life. I don't necessarily believe that's the right thing to do, but I do understand it none the less because it's slapped me in the face now in my own life.

It's bad enough seeing any person having to deal with a disease that is beyond their control. But it's even harder seeing someone fighting a disease that has no real positive outcome. And no real hope on the horizon. However bad it may sound, there are times that I wish the disease would have attacked his conscious as well so that he himself wouldn't truly understand where he was or what he was going through. And the moment that brought all of this to light happened just days ago. As I was helping him to go try to do a simple task as using the bathroom. He just stood there and started weeping. And it had nothing to do with the pain. But everything to do with the fact that he knew there wasn't much good left for him on this earth. And how frustrating it must be when your mind wants to do the things you've always done, but your body won't cooperate. I can't even fathom the frustration. And it breaks my heart.

I'm no different than most people out there. Eventually, everyone has to deal with something of this magnitude in their lives. But as I said before, I've counted my blessings that I hadn't had to deal with it sooner in some way. Being put right in the middle of the situation though has opened my eyes to the trials and tribulations of disease survivors, fighters, and their families. Everyone sees these things on TV, but however cliché as it may sound, you just don't know the magnitude until you are thrusted into the situation itself. I for sure didn't.I don't know what's going to come of this situation. But there are times that I wish God would go ahead and take him. Just so the emotional wreckage that he's experiencing now could subside and be forgotten. I think that a painless disease like this in most ways is even more painful than one that is actually causing you physical pain. At least with physical pain, there is a reason. Maybe not for the existence of the disease itself, but for the deterioration. I know that if I was put into that situation, the same one that he is in, I would seriously consider taking my own life. But kids throw a wrench in that and it becomes selfish to an extent. But let's just say if there were no obligations and nothing that would be considered as a "selfish act", I would be hard pressed not to react that way. As "un-Christian-like" as that may sound.

It's a feeling I've honestly never felt before. A combination of any bad or sad thought, compounded by not being able to do anything positive about it. It does make you look at your own life a little differently. Thing like this tend to do that for everyone. But do we really look at our lives differently? Or once the feeling subsides a bit, do we just go back to the norm and forget about how precious life really is? And how it could all be taken away at a moments notice. Without any warning. I've tried to prepare myself for instances like this my entire life. Growing up it was probably the thing I feared the most in my life. Losing a loved one that I was very close to. But there's really no way to prepare one's self for something like this. Seeing someone you love walk the halls of a slow death I think is harder than any sudden accident may be. At least with a fatality, you're hand is forced to move on. Where as with disease, and slow moving disease at that with no cure, you are constantly wallowing in pity for that person. And it tugs at your strings every moment you think about it.

It's one of the hardest things I've had to deal with. No doubt. But I am smart enough to know that something good is going to come out of this. I realize that as humans, we can't even grasp the vastness of what God is doing or has planned for each and every one of us. And that He has a knack for taking a negative situation and turning it into a positive. It may not be a positive in your life, but someone out there will benefit from it. And for that, I am grateful. Hopeful. Faithful. In knowing that as bad as it may look from the outside, the grander scheme of things will benefit. And this life is just a microcosm of what lies ahead.

Would Wadlow Have Dominated?

The tallest man in medical history was named Robert Pershing Wadlow from Alton, IL. He checked in at a Guinness record 8 ft. 11 in., had a wing span of 9 ft. 6 in, and weighed in at a wopping 480 lbs. He wore a size 25 ring (I wear a 7.5 I think). His hand from wrist to the top of the middle finger measured 12 3/4 in. His shoe size was 37AA, or 18 1/2 in. long. And when he died in 1940, his coffin measured 10 ft. 9 in. long, 32 in. wide and 30 in. deep. And by age 9, he was able to carry his father who stood 5 ft. 11 in. up the stairs of the family home. AGE 9!!!

So all of that being said, I can't help but think what he would be like had the NBA been around in his day. For conversational purposes, let's just say that he's still walking the earth today and is a healthy 30 years old. The tallest men to ever play in the NBA were Manute Bol and Gheorghe Muresan, who both checked in at 7 ft. 7 in. So that puts this into perspective a little bit. And those two have been out of the NBA for years now. Very few of todays players are taller than 7 ft., although there are a handful of them. So let's give the guys the benefit of the doubt and say the tallest guy in the NBA right now is 7 ft. 5". Robert Pershing Wadlow would be one and a half feet taller than anyone else in the league.

Again, to try and put it in crayon, Wadlow when standing flat footed would have to watch himself because the net on the basket would be about halfway up at eye level. His wing span was over nine feet, so standing flat footed with arms raised straight up he would have no problem touching the top edge of the backboard. And that's standing flat footed! God forbid he jump a little bit. He would lose some teeth and an eye ball as the rim wacked him in the face.

As with most overly tall guys in history, they are VERY uncoordinated. But how coordinated do you need to be if you are making it up in size? It's feasible that Wadlow could just stand in the paint, call for the ball with his arms straight up, catch it and throw it DOWN through the basket. And no one would be able to do anything about it. Very few NBA players can even jump to reach as high as Wadlow could reach standing flat footed. Now, he would be a liability on the defensive end just because his coordination would probably slow his awkward running pretty drastically. And getting back would be a problem. But once he was there, if the other team hadn't scored yet, he would be a shot blocking machine. No one would be able to drive the lane for fear of getting thier S swatted out to half court. And rebounds, are you kidding me? If he was coordinated enough, he could grab the ball mere milliseconds after it comes off the rim. Thwarting any other players chances of getting a friendly bounce.

Usually these freaks of nature that get that tall have gland problems or some other medical condition that accelerates growth. And due to the rapid growth, muscles can't catch up, thus the coordination problems. And none of them have really lived long lives. In fact, Wadlow died in his 20's I believe due to a blister on his foot so the NBA would have to supply him with some socks the size of burlap sacks in order to keep his feet blister free.

But this is how my random brain works. Would Wadlow have dominated? What kind of contract could he get today? Due to his height alone he could be a millionaire with absolutely no basketball skills. Teams take chances on height, in hopes that they can "teach" them the game along the way. How high would he have been able to jump? I'm assuming most of those guys can't jump very high, but they don't need to I guess. Would there be a sudor for him? And would he have normal kids or a gaggle of giants? Would teams have to bring in special arrangements for him? Like oversized chairs, lockers, showers, etc.? It's fascinating to think about what might have been had Wadlow lived today and was healthy. Now that the NBA is indeed in existence, it won't be long before a sizeable medical conditioned man comes along that some team takes a chance on merely because of his height. And I hope I'm alive to see it. If nothing else it would be commical. As was every game that Manute Bol and Gheorghe Muresan played. I've never seen something so awkward in all my life. But who am I to question them? They are millionaires. Or at least were at one time because of their height alone.

Easter 2009

iPhone 4G

Much like Kip from Napoleon Dynamite, "Yes, I love technology". I think that it's my vice somewhat. And I don't really know why. Usually sports and technology don't mix when it comes to likes and dislikes within people. What I mean is, you don't usually find a kid who is totally into sports, who is also into taking computers apart and playing with components. But there's always been something inside of me that just loves that dorky stuff. When something new comes out, I read up on it. And hopefully eventually purchase it somehow. I love having the latest and greatest. And if I ever came into some money, I would go on a technology shopping spree. I could fill baskets right now with a lot of things that I want that I can't afford. What a nerd.

Anyway, here come the rumblings of the new iPhone 4g. Right up my alley. The biggest selling points for this thing are going to be the video conferencing, bigger hard drive (around 32gb which is twice as much as a laptop I bought about 10 years ago), true GPS, and replaceable battery. Not to mention it's made of titanium so it should be a little more durable. That's good for people like me who dropped their 3g the first week they had it and cracked the screen. Still cuts me deep and pisses me off. Anyway. It also sounds like it's going to be affordable from the outset. Unlike the 2g and 3g were when they first arrived. I remember paying like $550 for my 2g when I got it. Then $199 for the 3g when the price dropped. And I would imagine they would start the price out between $200-$300 for the 4g. And I'm not even sure they are going to call it the 4g. I'm just calling it that for reference purposes because I'm a nerd.

The biggest of these selling points is going to be the video conferencing. Which if you think about it is something out of a 1980's science fiction movie. You'll be able to call someone else who has an iPhone, hold the phone out in front of your face and pretty much talk face to face with that person in live time. Like a cyber camera on a computer kind of. Which is really "neat" for lack of a better word. But it's really starting to infringe on space here. For a guy who thinks we are moving towards WAY too much personal life intervention by technological methods, I'm not sure I'll like this. But it's "neat" so I'll have to have it.

These types of devices are obviously the way of the future. The iPhone is really just a personal computer in the palm of your hand that happens to make phone calls. With all of the hard drive space they are boasting now (32 gb), it will also make my iPod obsolete. I have a TON of music, always have. And I have a 30gb iPod that's not even close to being filled with the 6500 songs I have on it. So I won't need it anymore with these new bigger phones.

I don't know what it is about technology that gets me. It's kind of like a hobby in a sense I guess. Some guys like to hunt and spend their money doing just that. Some like to race cars and spend their money enhancing those cars. But in a way, technology is my hobby. And that's how I justify spending the money on it! No comments from the masses on that, just let me believe it and leave it be. Technology and Golf of course. My two vices.

Copperhead-ed

Yesterday, I decided that I needed to try and mow under the big oak trees that line the side of our property. I usually don't mow it because there are so many stumps and I don't want to really mess up my riding lawn mower. But it needed to be done. So I grabbed my push mower that hasn't been used in years, and tried to get that thing working. I figured if I hit a stump, I'd rather lose the push mower than screw up my riding mower.

So I proceeded to start mowing, while Conner was playing on his playset. Soon, his friend Cole from acoss the street came to join him. Which was fine. I was mowing right there so I could keep an eye on them. After a couple of runs of mowing, I saw the two running towards me trying to say something. I couldn't hear so I turned off the mower. Then Cole starts explaining to me that there is a big bug over by the payset that he wanted to show me. Of course these are 3 year old boys so any bug has to be a great experience for them. So I bought into it and walked over to the playset with them both. I asked them to show me where it was, to which my son kneeled down and picked up a piece of wood just underneath the ladder of his playset. And he told me there was a snake right there. Ahh, so Cole meant that there was a snake. Ok. So I start looking around where Conner is as he's trying to help me find it. I'm picturing a little gardner snake or something very small. We can't find it. But something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. And I look left of where we are kneeled down mind you, and there it was in all it's glory. A 3' Copperhead snake, sitting there coiled up with it's head in the air staring at us.

It's no secret that I HATE snakes and spiders. So for me, it was a scream like a girl moment. But my Daddy instincts kicked in. And I immediately pushed the boys aside and told them to stand WAY back. Remember, we were merely inches away from this snake when the boys were trying to tell me about it. Well within striking distance. We are just very lucky that it didn't. So the boys back up. But the snake continues to follow me with his eyes and head. Immediately I was looking for some help. I didn't want to try and kill it with the boys standing there because if for some reason it slithered away scared, that could be dangerous for the boys. But I saw Coles mother in the street, and immediately called her over so she could help me out. She held the boys back while I got a shovel to cut the snakes head off. At which point I got a stick to open the mouth and show the boys the fangs and that it would hurt REALLY bad to get bit by one of these things. All of this as the venom is almost dripping off of the fangs. They just didn't know any better. In fact, Cole was all excited telling me he had touched it before I got there. Talk about the angels being on your side.

This snake was at the base of the ladder to the play set. Which means the boys were climbing over this thing every time they went up into the clubhouse. Coming mere inches away every time they hit the ladder. And it wasn't on the inside of the ladder where they were consistently on opposite sides. It was on the outside of the ladder, the same side the boys climb up. I just couldn't believe the situation didn't get worse than it did. But I had to hold a lesson session for my son, telling him that if he EVER sees any snake, he needs to run the other way and come get me.

So I've been worried about this all night. To the point of dreaming about things that scare me. And this morning, it's spawned some research on the Copperhead. And I've learned some things that I really didn't know. I don't think any less of the snake for sure. But at least I'm a little more educated than I was. All snakes deserve to die. And they should take the spiders with them. And any other insect of choice. I'm such a girl when it comes to that stuff.

In North America, the Copperhead snake actually bites more humans than any other snake. Most of them occur when people are trying to either pick them up or kill them and they wiggle away to bit. But what I didn't know is that it's very rare that a Copperhead actually kills a human. Now I think if it's a little human, like my son, we probably have a different story. But for the most part, they don't kill humans. Sure, there are instances of death by Copperhead bite. But they are exceptionally rare. And the Copperhead is not aggressive by nature. Which is why the bites aren't as deadly as people think. They actually don't inject a lot of venom when they bite humans because the bite is used more as a scare tactic than a killing tactic. It's a warning when they feel threatened and they don't want to waste their valuable venom on a human if they don't have to. Supposedly if they are really pissed and feel threatened, they will raise their heads up off of the ground and have their mouths open as they look at you. In my case, the Copperhead's head was off the ground looking at me, but the mouth wasn't open. Not really sure why or why not. But that doesn't matter to me. KILL, KILL, KILL!!!

I don't know what preventative measures to take. I've heard about the sulfer that you spread to keep snakes out so I'll probably dabble in that a bit. And I think the main problem is the lot next to us not being manicured properly. That grass is tall, thus there are a lot of field mice in there. Good eatin for Copperheads. I know that for sure because I've seen the cats run into that grass and come back with a field mouse. So first thing is to get them to mow their friggin lot. That should solve a lot of this. But I know that this is all part of living in the country. Even if it IS a subdivision, it's still centrally located between fields and acreage. In other words, I'm not sure there's really much I can do to totally keep them away. I just have to hope that my kids don't have big enough balls to be curious enough to get near them. If they take after their Dad, I shouldn't have any worries.

Can you train the brain to dream?

Dreams have always fascinated me. But their meanings escape us for the most part. Or do they? What do dreams actually mean? Do they mean anything? Are dreams gateways to the other side in some instances? Are they training platforms to experience things that just aren't possible here in the real world? And can we as humans actually train the brain to dream?

The mind is an enormously powerful thing. Something that humans really do take for granted. We've all seen the testing that shows we only use a small fraction of our brain capacity as humans. But what we don't think about are the possibilities of what the brain is actually capable of doing. Is it so far fetched that humans could use mind power to accomplish things forever thought of as "other worldly"? I personally don't think so. In fact, I think the most powerful and smartest people on the face of this earth are no smarter than you or I. They have just learned how to unlock a larger percentage of what each of us already has. The ones that have figured it out are viewed as smarter for sure. But are they really? Or have they just figured something out that the rest of us haven't? Similar to Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink". I think it's the latter. And the next step in this intellectual evolution to which all humans are participants. When you think of the word "evolution", you think of monkeys turning into humans. So I don't want to set the wrong definition here. I don't believe in evolution of the human. But what I do believe is that as we go through generations, the human race tends to adapt not only to it's surroundings but adapt to the things that will drive the race forward. Becoming smarter and smarter throughout the years. Evident by the invention of the car, followed by the airplane, followed by the computer and internet, bla bla bla. Over the generations, are we learning more and more how to "unlock" pieces of the brain that we weren't originally capable of doing? I think so.

So if that's the case, shouldn't dreams start becoming more and more of a tangible reality rather than a figment of the imagination? Pardon the pun. In the Old Testament, God would actually speak to his people in dreams or "visions". So is it possible that that's what dreams are right now? A gateway and message board of sorts between you and God? And if it is, can we learn as humans how to use it when and where we want to? I think we can. We just haven't figured it out yet. I'm not saying I believe this is the sole line of communication between you and your God. But what I am saying is that we've all experienced some weird happenstances in dreams. Things that really can't be explained. So what if we knew exactly what dreams were meant to provide us? Would we listen harder to them? Would we search out dreaming a little harder? And would we remember them much more than we do now? If I told you that you could use your dreams to tie the communication gap between you and your creator, wouldn't you want to know how? Maybe we already do. And that's kind of my point to all of this. Other than to just confuse the hell out of anyone who's reading this.

I remember a few years ago when I was watching Satan's talkshow on TV (Oprah, who I think has brainwashed this countries frow for the worse) I saw a self made "professor" of sorts who's job was do decipher, decode, and define clients dreams for them. And I thought it was the biggest crock of S I'd ever seen. The mind is such a complex thing that anyone who tells you they understand it is just reaching for a sucker. Like pyramid schemes and mail sorting "work at home" opportunities. So that's hard for me to grasp. I agree that dreams hold a certain meaning. But that meaning is only known by the dreamer, and not by some phsychiatrist who "thinks" they know who you are and what you think. I think another person's view of your dreams can be used for good things. If nothing else, to spawn some other insights into what YOU think the dream may be telling you. But I still think only the dreamer holds the true key. But that key is what's so hard to attain.

I'm accomplishing nothing with this post. More than anything this is a look into how spastic my mind really is. But what if we really could train ourselves to dream? To dream about anything we wanted to. It's possible that dreams are indeed a gateway to the other side, but they can be used for more simpler things as entertainment if you will. Or a focus group of sorts to test new theories and new ideas that you may be thinking about. For the business man, dreams could be used as a way to test a new product in a different world. For the medical practitioner, dreams could be used as a way to practice on something other than a tangible human being. And for the guy in his sexual prime (this isn't me at all, I swear), dreams could even be used as a release of sorts with anyone your brain can come up with. Thus the "wet dream". Yes, I just said it.

I think dreams are a lot more powerful than what we think. And I think they are a combination of both. A portal to the other side, and a test platform for things in your current life. Everyone has had the dream of free falling. But why? Evolutionists would say because it's ancestrally tied to monkeys falling out of trees long ago. Excuse me while I barf. Instead, maybe it's your creator telling you that that thing that's so important on your mind lately is going to fail. And the falling is an abstract way of telling you just that. I don't know. That's really random, but it's the type of thing I'm talking about. And what about the dream where you are sitting there visiting with a relative who had passed years prior. What if that conversation is really taking place and you just don't realize it? As humans we pawn it off as a "dream". A figment of the imagination, but what if it's not? What if that conversation is really taking place right then and there? How much more valuable information could we gather from that if we just knew how to gather? Thus trained dreams.

I know this whole thing is WAY out there. And on any other platform I would be viewed as a hippie on LSD. But the mind fascinates me. And I honestly think that there's more to dreaming than just happenstance. There's something to be learned from them. Some earth shattering type of message that would change the face of humanity if we could just learn how to do it. There are so many things in our lifetimes that happen that originally we would have never thought possible so why not this? And as far as the communication with God goes, is it something as simple as opening up your mind to Him like you did your heart when you became a Christian or whatever you are? Maybe it is. He's communicated that way before, why wouldn't he do it again if we would just let him and clear the cloud.

Our minds are clouded with crap we see as "important" going on in all of our lives. There are no more clear minded individuals on the planet. All of the worries we experience in this life are fending off any of the better things that our brains "want" to be working towards. And that clouded brain is the one that can't grow, or be used to it's full capacity. We would have to let go of any sort of reservations about changing the way we think. And that's probably the hardest thing to do as humans. Those who had different ways of thinking in the past were presented with their own Salem Witch Trial and burned at the stake. But time and time again as we move through generations, we slowly figure out that some of those unorthodox things thought long ago actually weren't that far fetched to begin with. We're just way too late to the punch.

Training dreams. Sounds impossible and worthless. But what if it's anything but?

He's GRRRRR-E-A-T!!! (insert courtesy clap here)

Woods that is. Not Tony the Tiger, although Frosted Flakes are the BOMB!

It's a broken record. And my man crush on this man may be seriously clouding my judgement, but I doubt it. I just feel honored to be living in the era where the best athlete this world has ever seen is playing right in front of my eyes. And I can't tell you how badly I want to be like him. I guess it's more want my golf game to be like his. I don't want to look like him or anything. It's almost a gay fascination. But I don't care. Maybe I'm gay.

So Tiger is out 8 months with a knee injury. The same knee injury that has plagued him his whole career really. But over time got worse and worse, and was finally unbearable and in need of fixing. Not before winning the US Open in a playoff of course. Finally giving in and getting his knee surgery done days after hoisting the trophy. To which the doctors found that he had been really standing on one leg. The other was a knee that was grinding bone on bone. I'll never forget that tournament. It was one of the most memorable ones I've ever seen. And Tigers knee problem made it all the more intriguing. I remember that the playoff went into Monday, so I had to stream it over the internet here at work to see it. I did. And it was worth the chance of getting caught and reprimanded.

After his 8 months off, he's back. And in his third tournament entered after having the surgery, he wins, again, in stunning fashion, again. Think about that for a minute. This is what people don't realize and take for granted I think. Tiger is playing against the best players this WORLD has to offer. Not some private local league of sorts that highlights a regions best. These guys are awesome. And the fact that he's that much better than those guys is beyond comprehension. And what makes him so much better is his mind. He's physically superior in some regards, but not physically dominant. What makes him truly great is the strength of his mind. Just like Jordan or any other great. It wasn't their physical abilities that put them over the top. It was the combination of that and complete and total mind control. And Tiger is by far the best I've ever seen at combining the both of them, every time he's out on the course. And the US Open he won before his surgery was the defining moment of just that. His body didn't believe, but his mind did. And his mind won. As it does time and time again.

He entered yesterdays final round of the Arnie Invitational being 5 shots down. For any other player, that's just insurmountable. But for Tiger, be nervous. He just grinds away. And the more flash bulbs flash, the better he becomes. Like he's some solar panel drawing his energy from the flashing light. He chipped away at the lead and was presented a 16 foot birdie putt on the last hole to win the tournament. And we all know what happens when a tournament win is on the line. He makes the putt, that normal golfers would make 2 out of 10 times, pumps his fist, hugs Stevie and moves on to the next tournament.

I just hope that even if you don't enjoy the game of golf, because I know a lot of people just don't, that people can at least appreciate what this guy is doing. It's like being alive to see Babe Ruth play. It's like being alive to witness Michael Jordan play. (Which again was lucky enough to be a part of). These guys don't come around often, if ever. And Tiger might be the best of the bunch. In fact, I'm taking the "might" out of my vocabulary. He IS the best of the bunch. Hands down. I just hope my son gets a chance to witness his greatness before he starts his decline.

If he ever does decline that is.....

Can you make a citizens arrest on a cop?

It's been plastered on TV's and newspapers for the past few days. And it makes me so much more than happy that this Dallas police officer, Robert Powell, is going to get crucified for his actions the other day. If you live in a cave and haven't heard, Ryan Moats, who played football at Bishop Lynch and now plays running back for the NFL's Houston Texans, got the bad news that his Mother-in-law was dying at Baylor Hospital. So he, his wife, and another family member sped down the Dallas streets trying to get there in time to say their last goodbyes. And amidst all the rushing, Moats runs a red light and gets caught by this police officer (Robert Powell) who pulls him over at the DOOR to the emergency entrance of the hospital and won't let him go in to see his dying Mother-in-law until he gets grilled with questions and threats for all of 17 minutes.

I don't even know where to start. It just gets my blood boiling thinking about this. First of all, yes, Moats did run a red light. But he didn't blow through the intersection. He actually stopped, let the surrounding cars get out of the way, and then proceeded through the red light with some caution. He was driving fast I'm sure, but he was in control of his vehicle and from all indications wasn't putting anyone else at risk. Next, the cop actually pulls him over at the entrance of the emergency room. At that instant, he could have gone many different routes instead of the one he went. As Moats gets out of the car, the cop takes exception and begins his whole "little man syndrome" act. Moats pleads with the cop and tells him that his Mother-in-law is dying but the cop doesn't care. He's more concerned with giving a red light ticket than helping a fellow human with a serious family matter. And this is where I blow my top.

This little tidbit of the conversation says it all. As Moats pulls up to the emergency room, he puts the car in park and gets out with his wife and other family member. As any of us would had we had member of our family in there dying. But this obviously sets the cop off.

OFFICER POWELL: "Get in there! Get in there! Let me see your hands. Get in there! Put your hands on the car."

TAMISHIA MOATS (wife): "My mom is dying"

OFFICER POWELL: "Do you understand?"

Then later in the exchange, Powell talking to Ryan Moats:

OFFICER POWELL: "I can screw you over; I'd rather not do that. Your attitude will dictate everything that happens, and right now, your attitude sucks."

You've got to be kidding me. If you get a chance to go see this for yourself, the video is all over the internet. At first, Moats is pleading with the cop to let them go so they can go see their dying mother. Then when he realizes the cop is going to be a complete A-hole, he continues with good manners over and over again hoping the cop will just have a little heart. "Yes sir, yes sir" is heard numerous times trying to speed things up. And to Moats credit, he never even threw out the "Hey, do you know who I am? I'm an NFL player" card. That was the furthest thing from his mind because this situation was genuine. All he wanted to do was see his Mother-in-law before she died. And to add to the situation, you'll hear the audio of a Plano cop who comes up and tells officer Powell that indeed the Moats family member is dying and he should probably take that into consideration. As do the nurses who have run outside and let the cop know that Moats is telling the truth. But it goes in one ear and out the other with Powell, who is more concerned with giving out his red light ticket rather than actually helping a fellow human being and having some heart. Which is what it all boils down to. That and all cops severe condition of thinking that they are above the law in which they enforce.

I just don't get it. Carrying a gun seems to give these guys a false sense of entitlement. And I can honestly say that with EVERY single ticket I've ever gotten in my life, each one has been the same. They constantly act as if they are better than you, they treat you as if they are your worldly teacher and tell you what you should be doing, and ALL of them are overly cocky. I understand that in certain situations this type of personality is needed. But do cops not have it in them to really analyze a situation and adjust their actions accordingly? It seems as if they don't, and they are just machines. Products of the system. And it's really a shame. They WANT you to be scared. They WANT to be feared by everyone. It seems as if every one of them is on some power trip or steroid induced roid rage that comes across in their actions whether it's a simple seat belt ticket or actually running someone over. It's all the same with them. When in reality, they couldn't be further apart.

I can remember when we were having my first child. My wife's water broke in the middle of the night and I was nervous as hell. We jumped in the car and I drove as fast as our Tahoe would go before the governor kicked in. And I remember thinking that Crandall is a speed trap of sorts but that if one of them were to try and pull me over, they were gonna have to follow me all the way to Presbyterian in Dallas because I wasn't stopping for anyone. Including a police officer. And had that been the case, and he followed me all the way to the hospital, I'll be damned if I would have waited in my car for him to proceed to my window. I would have thrown him the keys and run in with my wife who was in labor and let him figure it out later. As luck would have it, I actually did pass a cop in the ditch that night in Crandall. I had my flashers on and was driving right at 100 mph. And for whatever reason he only flashed his lights at me once to acknowledge that he saw me and that he wasn't coming after me. Good thing, because I wasn't stopping.

Call it "little man syndrome" (even though a lot of them are big individuals). Or call it just a severe lack of people skills and sympathetic feelings. But whatever it is, it's painted them with a brush that will never go away. Even generations from now. There's no denying that one bad apple shouldn't spoil the entire crop. And maybe that's true to a point. But any cop I've ever been in contact with, who is on duty, has been a bad apple. These guys and gals do some great things in our communities. Things that a lot of us really take for granted because I wouldn't want their job. But there's really no reason for most of them to be a-holes just because they carry a gun. That's the rap they get, and in my opinion, it's well deserved. Have you ever met a nice cop? I can't say that I have, unless he was off duty and not carrying a gun. Ridiculous.

Regardless of what I think, officer Powell has since been put on administrative leave with pay while facing charges internally of misconduct. Seems a small price to pay for almost ruining a chance to say goodbye to your Mother. And when it's all said and done, I'm sure the Dallas Police Department will get so hammered by this that they either re-assign him or let him go all together. And in my opinion, it would be well deserved. Some kind of message needs to be sent so these guys don't just think they rule the land. Maybe instead of arming them with pistols, we should only allow them to carry tasers and those Barney Fife black stick things. That would put a damper on any ego. Of course, I guess we could ask Rodney King how those stick things worked out. All in all, there's probably no way around it. It would take a shift in mentality for each and every one of them. And we all know that will never happen.

Can you make a citizens arrest on a cop? Maybe that's the answer.

Washington DC Trip

So I know I’m going to forget some really good details in my description of these events, but everything kind of runs together when you go balls to the wall for 4 days straight. In all seriousness, it really wasn’t bad going and going. In fact, I’m glad we did because we got to see a lot of things that we normally wouldn’t obviously. And things that some people will never get to see. That in itself was worth any sort of beating I may have thought I would be going through. Truly no beatings here, just good memories. And a much needed break for me and my lovely wife.

We arrived in DC on Thursday night. But not before some major drama at DFW Airport. For some reason I let my wife talk me into including my toiletry bag in one of her carry on bags. I’ve flown a few times since 911 and knew better but I just wasn’t thinking. We were stopped at security, checked and searched, and forced to hand over some toiletries and a cool little pocket tool/knife that I had in my bag. I felt like such a friggin moron. I was then faced with a couple options. I could take those items back out of the airport to a car waiting outside of my piers. But Greg was long gone by then. Or I could take the items back out into the front halls and get the airport to mail them back home, which was like $15 and would take valuable time that we really didn’t have. So I had to come to grips with the fact that I was just robbed of my tool. It was confiscated willingly. And sad to say, I will never see it again. Bummer.

The flight was a little weird to me from the start. I don’t mind flying. But I’ve done it enough to know when something isn’t “normal”. And the minute we took off, there were some dicey moments for a dude who fears the plane crash. Normally while ascending, you can feel gravity pushing your down against your seat as you climb through the air. But this was different. For that 15 minutes or so while we were climbing, we were up then down. Up then down. Not a steady climb. So that was a little nerve racking. But the scary part happened when we landed. I’m telling you, the guy SLAMMED on the breaks on this landing. It wasn’t a gradual slowdown. It was a power slide in every sense of the word. Later on in the weekend I learned why. Because of the flight zones around the DC area, planes have to come into the airport at Reagan from really weird angles. Pretty much following the Potomac River as it winds towards the airport. And the runways are so small and narrow that it’s not uncommon for a plane to be trying to land but realize that it just can’t stop in time and immediately pull up, fly around, and try it all over again. Thus the reason for the slamming of the breaks that we experienced. None the less, we made it. Thankfully in one piece once again. The fam picked us up, we stopped and grabbed some pizza, and headed to their place. Vegged and tried to get a good night sleep. We would be VERY busy the next day or so.

Department of State

My aunt had set us up with a tour of the Department of State. There are so many “departments” in DC that this all kind of runs together. But I guess the main attraction of this place were the really old rooms where fellow heads of state would (and will) gather to discuss business. Kind of the US’s place to wine and dine it’s foreign ambassadors and such. The rooms were full of old furniture, china, and paintings. And when I say old, I mean ancient. Big pieces given to the US by other nations, silverware from past presidents, expensive china, rugs that could cover the entire basketball court in a gymnasium, English crystal chandeliers in every room. And to give some sort of an idea, there was a piece of furniture just sitting there in one of the rooms that was about the size of your average end table in your bedroom. Only this was handcrafted in the 19th century and was worth $4.6 million. Some ridiculous stuff. I’m not really into all of that frilly crap, but seeing a $4.6 million small table dresser thingy was kind of interesting. The tour lasted about 45 minutes. Then we were off to our next stop.

Ben’s Chili Bowl

We decided to eat here. It was the first place that Obama ate after taking office. A cool little chili place really in the middle of nowhere. Really cool place. It was a party in there with three separate rooms and a large grill where dozens of hot dogs were grilled at all moments. The place was packed, line was long, but the food was awesome. And right up my alley. It’s hard to describe the way things are in DC without you knowing about how things are and were built here. Think of zero lot lines times 10. Each store, house, etc. is “nut to butt”. So if you need room, you either build up or back. But not across. And that’s exactly how Ben’s was. The front was about 25 feet across. But about 150 feet back. Really narrow and crammed in. But that’s what made it so great. Everyone was on top of one another, but for the most part, people in DC are happy people. And pretty nice. I got a chili dog and fries and can say without question it was one of the best chili dogs I’ve ever had. Really good.

The Capitol

After Ben’s was our trip to my aunts office and the capital. Her office is connected to the capital by large underground tunnels that automatically have that ambiance like you are doing something really secretive. It’s good to know people. As soon as we got into the capital, my aunt informed us that she had finally been able to pull enough strings to get us into the White House at 4:00. And that was something we surely couldn’t be late for. So it turned out that we couldn’t take the full drawn out capital tour or we would be late. But again, it’s good to know people. So instead, one of her piers pulled some strings, took us straight to the front of the line in the Capital touring station I guess you can call it, got us our passes/badges, and took just the three of us on a much quicker, personal tour of the Capitol. And it was awesome. Definitely one of my favorite buildings we went into while in DC. The thing was just huge. A lot bigger than it seems in photographs and on TV. And the architecture is just something to marvel at. The attention to detail was remarkable. We were able to see the old room where the Supreme Court used to hold court. We saw the room where a lot of the older presidents used to office, marked by plaques as to where their desks used to sit. But the biggest and best part of the capital in my opinion was the middle section underneath the actual dome. There are HUGE paintings of American history chronicling the room. Paintings that were probably about 20-25 feet tall and 10-15 feet wide. Above that was a painted history that goes all the way around the dome inside from the time we landed on Plymouth rock, to the Wright Brothers plane at Kitty Hawk. Topped off by the paintings inside the actual dome that are of the Gods somewhat (at least that’s the best way I can describe it) opening up a hole into heaven through the top of the dome. Words just don’t do it justice, but the capital was just astonishing. We were almost able to get into where the Senate deliberates, but they had just finished up and we had to rush out to get to our White House contact.

The White House (photo to the right is us in the White House)

And here’s where awesome town starts. So of course the White House is HEAVILY guarded. But the funny thing was that it was fairly easy for us to get into. It obviously would have been impossible for me alone to do something like this, but again, it’s good to know people. They were virtually waiting on us to arrive. We walked up to a small guard house on the east side of the White House that buzzed us in through a HUGE rot iron gate. Once we were in, we walked up a road to yet another check point. This time, we had to walk through scanners and get our little White House badges that you can see Landy and I wearing in the photos. After that, it was on. We were walking right up to the door to enter the east corridor of the White House. A woman met us there, took us to a waiting/holding room, and called our “contact” to come up to get us. We stayed in this room for about 10 minutes or so before he showed up. We all shook hands, bla bla bla, and headed down the hall in the east wing. Most of the east wing of the White House is dedicated to the first ladies of the past and present. So there are large paintings of each of them on the walls in the halls and in and out of various rooms. What made this whole thing so surreal was the fact that NO ONE goes into the White House during business hours. It was a HUGE no no. But again, people. So we had to stay on our best behavior of course and sneak around like we really weren’t there. All the while being stared at and followed by secret service personnel the entire time. Anyway, we took off down the hall and were going to walk at least all the way to the west wing holding room. And it really doesn’t begin to sink in that you are actually walking inside the White House until you start seeing the photos up on the wall of presidents past and present. In fact, I was amazed as to how many photos they already had on the walls of Obama and his family. They work pretty fast. We came to a point where you had to go through a door outside and walk on a covered patio over to another part of the building. Then things started looking more familiar. As we were walking on this patio, I realized that the oval office was about 10 paces to my left. All of the curtains were pulled shut and the entire outside was littered with secret service agents. At that point I realized that if I just picked up a rock and threw it over at the window, Obama himself might come out and say hi. But I’m not sure he could have made it out there before the secret service had thrown me in the back of a black van and taken me to be executed. We were merely steps away from the president, during working hours. Truly unbelievable. And everything went off without a hitch. Mostly because of our good behavior and the fact that we were so quiet you could hear a gnat fart. I did get followed for a while by a secret service guy, mainly because I think I looked at him wrong. But later when he realized I was a nobody and had no bad intentions, he turned off and went down to the small cafeteria type thing to get some grub. If there is one thing I do regret, it’s not taking that opportunity to take a dump in the White House bathroom. Now THAT would have been a good story, but I thought of it after the fact. J This was obviously the best thing we did. And something I’ll never forget. Very cool. And so against the rules which made it even better.

A Chorus Line

So here’s where things get interesting. The musical “A Chorus Line” was in DC for a two week stint. And thank the good Lord above that we happened to visit right in that two week span because I would have hated to miss this one. There’s probably nothing gayer on earth than watching a musical about a musical. At least I can’t think of one. And I know my family pulled some major strings again for this so it’s not that I didn’t have a good time, it’s just not my cup of tea. That’s all. We had tickets 5th row center so I was able to really pay attention to the dance steps and how well the girls and guys really hit their falsettos. Is that the word I’m looking for? Anyway. Musicals are gay. But I was actually kind of enjoying it, until my Mom text me. We were about thirty minutes into a 2 hour show, when my Mom sent me a text about the kids. The place was dark, and for courtesy reasons the phones and cameras weren’t really allowed while the show was going on. But it was about our young kids so I had a choice to make. Either text her back real quick or get up and leave the building for a minute. I figured texting her back would take no time at all and surely no one would be angry about it right? So wrong. I tried to cover up the light from my iPhone the best I could with the playbill while I text her right back. But it didn’t take 5 seconds for the young punk next to me to push my leg and give me a “come on man”. There’s not many things that piss me off and drive me over the cliff, but he caught me at a bad time. I could feel the smoke coming out of my ears, so I fired back at him with a “are you trying to tell me that this little light is ruining your musical experience?”. To which he said “yes”. Then I immediately came back with some things I can’t say here and it took everything I had to stay back and not cause a scene. If there was any chance in hell that I might actually like a musical (about a musical), this little terd nugget ruined it. For the next hour and a half I sat there fuming. And no. Didn’t like it. I blame my mother for ruining my musical experience. But I really don’t think the outcome would have been any different had I not had the word fight with the little punk. Who by the way had a TERRIBLE case of little man syndrome as he tried to impress his date. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it again, so let’s move on to something else. That was over at around 11:00PM DC time so we called it a night after that. Long day, but productive one.

The next morning, my Aunt had a party to go to so we were actually able to veg for a while. And when I say a “while”, I mean most of the day. The only real plans we had for that Saturday was to go to the Washington Capitals game that night. And we really didn’t have much motivation to do anything before the game.

Washington Capitols Game

So we headed out a couple hours early to go see where my uncle conducted business on a daily basis. His new office was a couple blocks from the Verizon Center where the Caps play so we decided to park there and take the walk after touring his office. The cool thing about the Verizon Center is that it’s everything I was hoping the AAC in Dallas would have been when they built it. The biggest problem I have with the AAC is that it’s built for shows and not sports. I hate it. Reunion was so much better in my opinion. And the Verizon Center was a mixture of both. It was large enough and new enough to be current, but the seats went up and not out. Meaning every seat in the house was a good seat and you felt like you were right on top of the ice. My family had given up their tickets to this game, but scored some others. We sat on the second row of the second balcony on the side where the Caps would be shooting twice. They were really great seats, and the Caps didn’t disappoint. You could really feel that DC was becoming a hockey town, unlike Dallas. But I think the arena has a LOT to do with that. We saw a great game, and of course a great player in Alexander Ovechkin. I was probably most excited to see him, but we were given a great game on top of that. The game not only went to overtime but went on to a shootout as well. Something I’ve never seen in person. And who scored the winning shootout goal on the side where we were sitting? Alex. He’s a pimp. Dominate on the ice where at times he looks like a men among boys. Like Modano did in his prime. So the game was great. Another great thing was where the Verizon Center was located. It was right in the heart of the city. You could drive right by it and have no idea it was there. Incredible. I really do wish the AAC would have taken some tips, but Dallas never does seem to get it right.

Oya

After the game, we headed around the corner to get some food. Again, one of my favorites. Sushi. Makes me puke just thinking about it. The place was like I was living in “Night at the Roxbury”. The techno music was on, there were separate rooms that looked like many a orgy had gone on before, and the place as a whole was just really trendy. I of course couldn’t order anything I liked. There were no burgers or pizza or cereal so I was kind of screwed. But the girls loved it of course. And Forbes has a little gay in his heart I think and he liked it just as much if not more. I’ve just never gotten into sushi. I always feel like most people eat it as a status symbol of sorts. Like caviar. I’ve had both, and they both suck. Had I liked sushi, I’m sure this place would have been the bomb. But give me “Ben’s Chili Bowl” over this place any day. Over and over again. That ended our Saturday night. I did get to watch Tracey Morgan create a train wreck on Saturday Night Live before we hit the sack. I’ve just always thought he had very little. Anyway, bed time.

Sunday was another viewing day.

Smithsonian/ Natural History Museum

I guess one of the things I didn’t realize was that the Smithsonian Institute is not just one big building. It’s actually a park of sorts with a TON of buildings lining the streets, all specializing in one thing or another. I chose the Natural History Museum just because I think dinosaur bones and insects are cool and interesting. But had we wanted to venture out there is one that’s just art, one that specializes in American history, etc. The museum was cool. Lot’s of artifacts and stuff. I was able to see the most terrifying thing on the planet, the “Bird Eating Tarantula”. If you want to give me a heart attack, put on of those in a room with me. This thing was as big as a basketball, I’m not kidding. I almost passed out when I saw it. The dinosaur bones were really cool too. And the “Hope Diamond” was in there as well. I always pictured the “Hope Diamond” as this HUGE diamond the size of a mini basketball or something, but it was far from it. It was actually about the size of a quarter dollar. A lot smaller than I thought. But the beauty of the “Hope Diamond” was its flawless clarity. It looked like you were looking through glass. Very pretty. Gay I know, but pretty. I think it was forty-something carats? I can’t remember.

Lincoln Memorial/ Vietnam Wall/ Reflecting Pool/ Jefferson Memorial/ Washington Monument

After the museum, we headed to the Lincoln Memorial after a small break. This is the one where the big statue of Lincoln is sitting on the chair and where the concert for the inauguration was held. Anyway, this thing was HUGE. I really had no idea. I thought that I would be able to go sit in Lincolns lap and take my photo with me and the big man. But I’d have to be equipped with heavy rock climbing equipment to even attempt that. The thing was enormous. And the architecture on all of these monuments was just incredible. Most of them done in some sort of natural stone that had to take just years to assemble. Crazy. Another thing I didn’t realize about DC was it’s attention to “lines” and how everything was tied to one another. If you are standing on the steps of the Lincoln memorial and looking out, the reflecting pool is straight ahead. On the other side of the reflecting pool is the Washington Monument, then in a straight line behind that is the Capital. All on the same line. Very cool. If you are looking out from the steps, to the left of the reflecting pool is the Vietnam Wall. Which again I had no idea was so big. The thing ran for what seemed like forever. It was just name after name after name carved into shiny black marble slabs. You don’t realize how many people really die in war until you see something like this. Very humbling. So we walked the entire length of the wall. Then left the area and went to the Jefferson Memorial. Which was a lot like the Lincoln, only circular where as the Lincoln is more rectangular in shape. All in all we saw most all of the monuments. There’s so much more to see, but at least we got a handle on the bigger stuff this time and a feel for the area. By that time it was late so we grabbed some Magianos and headed home and to bed.

Washington National Cathedral

We woke up Monday, leaving day, and decided to go over to the National Cathedral. And this might have been the coolest thing I saw while in DC besides the Capital and the White House I guess. Think of the biggest church you can think of and multiply it by 250. It was like St. Anne’s in Kaufman on HGH. And the architecture was spectacular. I can’t even describe the detail. It was the biggest most breath taking church I’ve ever seen. Inside were tons of different chapels. You had the main one, but then there were little ones that spawned off in separate hallways. There were multiple floors, a huge crypt, and a Hogwarts type school that extended off of the grounds . It was just massive. This was the church that Obama went to the day after he took office for the prayer service for the president. The stained glass windows in this place aren’t rivaled. They are all beautiful and all tell a story. The entire thing was stone. It was just amazing.

Union Station

After the cathedral, we drove on to Union Station to pick up a bite to eat and a cab to the Baltimore Airport. That place is big too, like everything else in DC. It was like a travel station for the trains and commuters, but it had a mall with tons of shops and restaurants too. We had a bite to eat at Sbarro’s and grabbed our cab to take off to the airport. It was about a 40 minute cab ride to Baltimore, and we just so happened to get the biggest drunkest talker in the DC area for our driver. He was about 70 years old, had a crown vic that he had supped up (by his standards anyway), and had a mouth. Wow, he had a mouth. No one could get a word in edge wise, but we really didn’t want to. That would have just extended the conversation that really had no room for extension in the first place. At one point, Landy had to text me to ask me a question. She was sitting right next to me.

All in all we had a great time. DC itself is an awesome place. To visit anyway. I for one couldn't live there just because it's non stop go and every home and shop is nut to butt. I'm a country boy and need my space. But the fact that everything is so low to the ground (no building in DC can be higher than the Washington Monument) makes DC a really cool and different place to be. And it seemed like for the most part, everyone there is pretty content and very cordial. Except for the jack A at the musical. And the architecture and detail on the older buildings is just amazing. Everyone should visit at least one time in their lives. We will definitely go back. Well worth any headaches we may have had along the way.

We have way too many photos to upload so the three is all I'm doing. I'm lazy.

Einstein's IQ was only 160?

Late last week, we got into a slight argument at work. By we, I mean some of the guys in my office. And it lead to an IQ test to see who was actually smarter than the other. Two of us went to take the test, and only one of us came back a winner. And we can all guess who that was. I mean come on, look at my unparalleled writing skill and impecable mental capacity. All kidding aside, I did get a better score. A MUCH better score. 32 points higher to be exact.

My IQ according to this test was 135. I didn't really know what it meant so I researched online for meanings. And what I found was kind of astounding. So here I go to toot my own horn a bit before I totally shoot the wheels off my dreams.

Here are some meanings behind what exactly the number in an IQ score represents.

Under 70 - Definite feeble-mindedness: A score of 50-70 usually represents mild mental retardation. Only 5% of people actually have an IQ under 70 and is usually considered the "benchmark" for "mental retardation", a condition of limited mental ability in that it produces difficulty in adapting to the demands of life.

70-79 - Borderline deficiency

80-89 - Dullness

90-109 - Normal or average intelligence

110-119 - Superior intelligence

120-140 - Very superior intelligence

Over 140 - Genius or near genius

So right away I see that I'm in the "very superior intelligence" category, and borderline genius. And my score of 135 broken down a little further falls into these following parameters.

115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)

125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post graduate students)

135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)

Pardon me a second while I gently put pressure on my temples from both sides in an effort to try and get my head to shrink a bit from it blowing up over the last few days. My score represents .25% of the population, or 1 in 400. Or close to it. So I'm intelligent. Period.

Or am I?????

I'm currently reading my second of Malcolm Gladwell's books called "Outliers". Recently I finished another of his books called "Blink" and loved it. First off, I've never really been into books. But "Blink" kind of changed my perspective a bit. It was about the mysteries of the mind and how it's possible we as humans are all truly smarter than imaginable if only we knew how to unlock that potential in our brains. Right up my alley. So I've moved on to "Outliers". A book about the truly successful people in this world and just how they really came to be what they are today. I'm only about halfway through, but as luck would have it, I've just finished the two chapters on "Genius's" and what it really means to be one. Unfortunately, just off my IQ test high, it slapped me back into reality a bit.

Gladwell's research showed that being a "genius" doesn't necessarily translate into success. Which anyone could probably say they could see that. But what resignated with me was how the IQ scores actually translate. And he found that once your IQ score get's above around 125-130 (right where I fall), success rates of those people, even those who are off the charts, usually are about equal. Now there is a real difference in success lower down on the IQ scoring table. But the point is once you pass a certain point on the scale, it doesn't do you as good as what you would think. Just see my current employment situation for an example. You would think that the smarter (or higher your IQ) you are, the more successful you'd be. But in the most trusted phsycological testing this world has ever seen, it's proved time and time again that that's not the case at all. There is indeed a threshold. But once the threshold is passed, the playing field is evened up for those who've passed it.

So, all that being said, what am I? After taking the test I would have thought that maybe my assesment of myself would have changed, but it hasn't. I'm still the smart guy who couldn't seem to get passed drinking and partying in college enough to attend on a regular basis, get my degree, and move on to bigger and better things. I still think that piece of paper is overrated, but it is what it is. And I do feel like I've wasted some of my intelligence sometimes. I'm in spot now career wise where I'm really not using my intelligence to it's fullest capacity, but that's the road I've chosen. Or fell into. And IQ test or no IQ test, we all know where we are and where we know we should be. The worlds "tests" may tell us different, or even give us some false hope into what the world "expects" us to be. But there's somebody elses plan that is more important than what culture drives into our heads on a regular basis.

Smarts are not intended to be used to succeed financially, but rather to succeed in making "smart" life decisions as you move forward.

Talk about bursting your own bubble. But that's ok. I'm still borderline genius as far as standardized IQ testing goes. ;)

Poverty MD

I'm not sure if anyone watches 20/20 who reads this stupid little platform of mine, but if you don't, you're missing out on some gems every once in a while. And that was the case a couple weeks ago when Diane Sawyer did a report on the Appalachian Mountain People (for lack of a better term, I'll just call them AMP's). The main focus of the story was how we have extreme poverty here in our own back yard. And when I say extreme, I mean like X Games extreme.

Most of these families lived in run down trailer houses. Teeth were really hard to come by when interviewing any of these people due to drugs and Mountain Dew. I guess Mountain Dew is cheap where they are or something, but from infancy they drink nothing but Mountain Dew. They showed a one year old baby drinking Mountain Dew in her bottle. They don't have the finances to mix a glass of milk in every once in a while, or even water for that matter. It's Mountain Dew or bust. Kind of like me in college, only we couldn't afford the real Mountain Dew so we bought "Mountain Lightning" instead. And all of this MD drinking by the AMP's is causing tooth decay by the teenage years. Black cavities and pits form on the front and backs of the AMP's teeth. And the problem becomes brushing. Brushing their teeth hurts so bad that they just stop doing it and keep drinking MD. Causing tooth loss in the end. An awful circle.

The region itself is engulfed in poverty. There's nothing wrong with trailer homes, but these are the bottom feeders of trailer homes. So bad in fact that a lot of the people of the region prefer living in their cars. If in fact they have a car. There are no decent jobs in the region, except for the coal mines. But the problem there is that death is really imminent. Last year alone, about 58 people died in the coal mines. So how much is it worth to you? $50,000 a year and full benefits with a 50/50 chance of dying? A lot of the mothers have drug problems and end up leaving the young children alone to figure out their own way. Which obviously causes compounded problems. But there has to be a good story out of all of it right? Ok, well there was a kid who was as decent football player at the local high school. Ended up getting a scholarship to a university nearby. Went for about 6 weeks and was so out of his element that he quit and came back to his fellow AMP land to live in his truck again. So that one didn't work. But there are some driven AMP's which leads me to believe you can change the region. The one they focused on was a young woman with children at home (in her trailer) who wanted her GED so bad that she was walking to the nearest town every day, back and forth because she didn't have a car to get there. 8 miles there, 8 miles back. Taking her 2 hours each way. Just for the chance to get her education. And that's promising. As long as she controls her drug and MD addictions.

So there's the dilemma. As a country, what do you do about poverty stricken areas in your own back yard? We always come together and provide relief for areas who were ravaged by hurricanes (IE Catrina), or even overseas areas hit by tsunami or poor children in Africa. Which are all warranted causes. But as a country, wouldn't we want to take care of ourselves before we extend relief to others? I guess that's a call that government has to make. But it just seems logical to me. The only problem is HOW do you provide relief? You can't just give these people money because they will just go buy some more Mountain Dew. And that sounds really simplistic, but my point is you have to somehow change their way of life. Their structure of economy. You can't just throw money at the region.

It reminds me of a story one of my buddies here at work told me about native Indians in Mexico. He said there was a group of people that went into a Mexican Indian reservation (or whatever they call them there) and provided clothes and such to these primitive people. Immediately the Indians didn't take the items and use them how they were supposed to be used. Instead, they used them as adaptations to their own way of life. For example, they were given jeans. And instead of wearing the jeans, they cut the legs off so they could wear them similar to a loin cloth like they were used to wearing. And that's my point. How do you change a culture when you know what's best for them, but they are accustomed to something totally different and primitive? I think it's an almost impossible task. Which is really sad for us as a country.

20/20 did a follow up episode last Friday. PepsiCo (who makes Mountain Dew) has started to provide relief to the area by sending money and funding some dentistry. But let's be honest, it's only because the story gave a negative impression on the company and MD brand itself. It had nothing to do with Pepsi actually wanting to help the people. Which for thinkers like myself kind of sheds a negative light on Pepsi but if we are totally honest, what can they really do? It's next to impossible to change a culture. And it's going to take massive government intervention to even give a valiant effort. And that's not guaranteed to work.

Some people will say that they have the same opportunities as anyone else living in the United States. And they have chosen to live their lives the way they live them. And that's why the US is justified in sending money abroad to countries that don't have these same "opportunities". And I see that point. And believe it to some extent. But when those opportunities are miles upon miles away and you don't have the money to get there and attain that "change", what do you do? Chances and risk taking are a lot easier thought than done. And as a mother, father, or young adult (especially in that region) I'm not sure that thought has ever seriously come to the forefront. And if it has, it's all a pipe dream because what they are used to shuns any such sense of extended accomplishment or opportunity of a better life. I think this AMP situation is very different from the homeless problem that most cities face in this country. And the above mentioned "same opportunity" statement is what I believe when it comes to most of the homeless in this country. But only because the majority of the homeless live in and around larger cities. Cities that can provide those opportunities for employment or some kind of work. But the AMP's can't just go into town and get a job. Mostly because it's just not available to them. Unless they want to mine coal and die young. So the only way to change it is to try to create some infrastructure within the towns and bring in business and job opportunities. But what business in their right mind would want to employ a bunch of uneducated toothless people? As harsh as that sounds.

I don't know that there's a right answer on how to solve this problem. And these shows always shed light on just how many problems we actually have right here in our own back yard. It's always fascinating to me. And a much needed reality check for everyone I think. To really understand how lucky we are to live the way we live and have the things we have. What eases the pain a little inside of me is that a lot of the poverished people or native Indians for that matter have no idea what really is out there and attainable. And with that said, they don't long for the things that are so much better than what they have. Because if they did know, I think we may have a bigger problem on our hands. And feel a lot more remorse for those who just don't have what we have.

A small bit of comfort in the midst of a ginormous problem I guess....

So what exactly IS Saint Valentines Day?

With the big Feb 14th just around the corner, I thought I would check into this and find out who the woman was who actually came up with this (the worst holiday of the year) and caused so many men (like myself) grief to the infinite power. And no, there seems to be no clear evidence that it was a woman's doing. But I think we all know it was. Let's be real.

But how did it all begin? How did it become a holiday? And why?

Those are the questions that I had so I went out seeking answers. And found them I guess. Now, all you haters don't hate on me. I'm not saying I "loath" Valentine's Day. All I'm saying is that I think it's the weakest of the recognized holidays. Yes, even weaker than "Take your pet to work" day. And I've been burned on numerous occasions because my memory sucks. And if this day didn't exist, that would be one less day I would have to worry about forgetting. And THAT'S the real root of the problem I guess. We have WAY too many holidays. I would just rather profess my love for my wife on daily basis like I already do and not have to worry about a specific day. In my household, it's Valentine's Day all year round baby!

But here's the story of it's origin for any fellow nerds out there.

Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honour Juno. Juno was the Queen of the Roman Gods and Goddesses. The Romans also knew her as the Goddess of women and marriage. The following day, February 15th, began the Feast of Lupercalia.

The lives of young boys and girls were strictly separate. However, one of the customs of the young people was name drawing. On the eve of the festival of Lupercalia the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each young man would draw a girl's name from the jar and would then be partners for the duration of the festival with the girl whom he chose. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year, and often, they would fall in love and would later marry.

Under the rule of Emperor Claudius II Rome was involved in many bloody and unpopular campaigns. Claudius the Cruel was having a difficult time getting soldiers to join his military leagues. He believed that the reason was that roman men did not want to leave their loves or families. As a result, Claudius cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome. The good Saint Valentine was a priest at Rome in the days of Claudius II. He and Saint Marius aided the Christian martyrs and secretly married couples, and for this kind deed Saint Valentine was apprehended and dragged before the Prefect of Rome, who condemned him to be beaten to death with clubs and to have his head cut off. He suffered martyrdom on the 14th day of February, about the year 270. At that time it was the custom in Rome, a very ancient custom, indeed, to celebrate in the month of February the Lupercalia, feasts in honour of a heathen god. On these occasions, amidst a variety of pagan ceremonies, the names of young women were placed in a box, from which they were drawn by the men as chance directed.

The pastors of the early Christian Church in Rome endeavoured to do away with the pagan element in these feasts by substituting the names of saints for those of maidens. And as the Lupercalia began about the middle of February, the pastors appear to have chosen Saint Valentine's Day for the celebration of this new feaSt. So it seems that the custom of young men choosing maidens for valentines, or saints as patrons for the coming year, arose in this way.

Just a few Superbowl XLIII observations...

1. Faith Hill is still my all time #1 girl (behind Landy of course)

Over the past few years, I've forgotten how meant to be Faith and I are. Alessandra Ambrosio had dethroned her recently. But each time I see Faith, she seems to be talking to my soul telling me that I made a mistake in bumping her down a notch. So I've learned my lesson. No matter how old she gets, she just keeps looking better. And that's what every dude wants right? Of course my wife is my all time number one, but I'd say Faith is #1.5.

2. Ken Wisenhunt HAS to get those two front teeth taken care of in the off season

For a guy of his visibility, I'm surprised that none of his family or wife has made him take care of those two front teeth. First of all, the top two front teeth are the most exposed teeth in the mouth. So if there is discoloration to be had, those are definitely your last choice. But the beauty of it is that porcelain veneers are well within NFL coaches price range capabilities. So rather than looking like a nutria rat on the sidelines, let's get those things fixed Ken.

3. Flower commercial is the best by far

What's happened to commercials over the years? It's really hard to get a solid set during a Superbowl anymore. But each year you can pick out a couple gems that do past the test. Enter the flower delivery commercial. I don't know the business. Some dot com flower delivery service. But the flowers arrive at the office in a box to a woman in a cubicle. Her colleagues are surrounding her as she opens the box, only to find an ugly set of orchids (or whatever) telling her how fat and pathetic she is. Awesome. I love a good ribbing. Doesn't everyone?

4. Not a Boss fan, but this time not bad

I would actually use the word "good" in my description of Bruce's halftime show. And I've never been a fan of his music OR his band. There's something just not right about the Sopranos Silvio Dante (Steve Van Zandt) playing guitar next to a lead singer with a serious under bite and a Leann Womack look alike playing rhythm. But the halftime show was good. They sounded good, performed good, and Bruce can actually still move around a little bit. It's always funny and entertaining to see and old man trying to desperately hang on to his youth. Reminds me of my role model Ozzy, who as he's rocking out puts his hands in the air and over his head clapping in an attempt to get the crowd going. He just doesn't realize he really looks like an old lady at a First Assembly of God church choir. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course.

5. John Madden and Al Michaels should do EVERY Superbowl

John Madden is still my idol. Football is not the same without him. From his video games to his theories on chicken legs, John is a legend. And Al Michaels is all class. They are just the perfect duo to do a game. Live long and prosper.

6. I am STOKED about the GI Joe movie

Like most guys my age, unless you are gay, we were all into GI Joe growing up. And I had every figurine there was. From Roadblock to Snake Eyes and everything in between. I even bought enough cereal to collect upc's and send off for the special edition Cobra Commander in the mail. The one with the long blue vale. It was AWESOME and I was the king amongst my friends. (What little friends I had that is ;)) And now, 25 years later, comes the movie. I really hope they don't screw this up. But I fear that if they stray too far away from blue and red laser bullets like the cartoon had, we are all in trouble. GI Joe was and has always been my "Real American Heros". Let's keep it that way.

7. Time has been good to Brenda Warner

If you remember back to Kurt's first Superbowl, they showed Brenda (his wife) at nausium. And for the life of me I can't remember if she had cancer, but I'm thinking not. What she DID have was short brown-gray lesbian chia pet hair that made her look about 25 years older than she really was. But now, 9 years later, she's decided to go back to basics. Long blond hair. Makes it look like Kurt upgraded at that position, but believe me, it's all smoke and mirrors. Same girl.

8. Go Daddy commercials are always amazing

I'm not sure why I like these commercials so much. I guess I'll have to watch them over and over and over again to figure it out.

9. I've never felt as bad for a guy as I do Kurt Warner

The guy left his heart out on the field. And had Superbowl numbers that legends are made of. It's just a shame that his defense just couldn't help him out in the end. But I blame a TON of this on his coaching staff and the coveted Todd Haley. Let's see, you have maybe the most dominant force in the history of the NFL post season out there at wide out. A guy who is about 8 foot 10 inches and can jump like an olympic high jumper, and you throw him the ball ONCE in the first half? What a crime. I feel bad for the players. Especially Kurt who wasn't afforded his best weapon until late in the 4th quarter. Could have been a much different game.

10. Oh, and the game was pretty good too.

RESEARCH: The Light Year

Didn't think I'd really do it huh? Here's the first installment.

Let me start this off by saying this. I have severely mis-judged the distance from the Earth to the solar system my entire life. I had absolutely no idea that what we see in the sky is so far away. I just assumed as a lot of people probably do that we went to the moon so all of the stars and other planets are right there close somewhere. And it didn't take long to get to the moon, so why would it take long to get anywhere else. Sadly, I've been so wrong my entire life. And that's the purpose of these little research projects. To make me look really stupid.

The definition of a light year is a "unit of length, equal to just under ten trillion kilometers". So right off the bat with that definition, you start to realize just how far this really is. I think what's so unstable about the whole thing and why I've been so confused about it in the past is the word "year" portraying an actual "measurable length". If you think of "year" in "light year" you would think time and not distance. But that's not the case at all. Although time does factor in which I'll explain in a minute. A little bit more confusing definition is "the distance that light travels in a vacuum in one Julian year". Right there, confused again. A Julian year, really? Ok, well a Julian year is exactly 365.25 days (each of exactly 86,400 SI seconds, totaling 31,557,600 seconds). So right there I'm assuming (which gets me in trouble at times) that the Julian year is the exact year where you don't have to have leap years. At least that's what I'm thinking since the .25 is on the end and every 4 years we have a leap year. So that may answer two of my questions. One the leap year, and two to explain a little more about the light year.

To put this into perspective a little bit, a light year is equal to:

exactly 9,460,730,472,580.8 km (about 10 Pm)
about 5,878,630,000,000 international miles
about 63,241.1 astronomical units
about 0.306601 parsecs (so a parsec is 3.26 light years)

Ok, so what is the distance that light can travel in one year? Well, light moves at a velocity of about 300,000 kilometers (km) each second. So in one year, it can travel about 10 Trillion km. More precisely, one light year is equal to 9,500,000,000,000 kilometers. Try to wrap yourself around that. A friggin light year is about 6 Trillion miles. That's unimaginable to me. And why I've had such a hard time with this. So think of it this way. On Earth, kilometers and miles are fine. It's a few hundred kilometers from New York, NY to Washington DC; it is a few hundred kilometers from California to Maine. But in the universe, the kilometer or the mile is just too small to be useful. For example, the distance to the next nearest big galaxy, the Andromeda Galaxy, is 21 quintillion km. That's 21,000,000,000,000,000,000 kilometers. And that's why they use light years to measure the distance because writing out quintillions of kilometers all the time would just blow.

So here are some distances to different points in the universe from Earth.

The Crab supernova remnant is about 4,000 light-years away.
The Milky Way Galaxy is about 150,000 light-years across.
The Andromeda Galaxy is 2.3 million light-years away.
And the distance from the Earth to Proxima Centauri (the nearest star) is 40,000,000,000,000 kilometers or 4.24 light-years.

So why light you may ask? Well, I'm guessing because the speed of light is one of the fastest forms of travel that there is. Light travels at 186,000 miles per second (300,000 kilometers per second). Therefore, a light second is 186,000 miles. So a light year is:

186,000 miles/second x 60 seconds/minute x 60 minutes/hour x 24 hours/day x 365 days/year = 5,865,696,000,000 miles/year. Thus the LIGHT YEAR distance.

On a little side note, a light nanosecond is the distance light can travel in a billionth of a second, which is about 1 foot. Radar uses this fact to measure how far away something like an airplane is. A radar antenna sends out a short radio pulse and then waits for it to echo off of an airplane or other target. While it's waiting, it counts the number of nanoseconds that pass. Radio waves travel at the speed of light, so the number of nanoseconds divided by 2 tells the radar unit exactly how far away the object is.

Then there's this. Using a light year as a distance measure has another advantage. It helps you to determine age. So say that a star is 1 million light years away. The light from that star has traveled at the speed of light to get to us here on Earth. Therefore, it has taken the star's light 1 million years to get here, and the light we are seeing was created 1 million years ago. So the star we are seeing is really how the star looked a million years ago, not how it looks today. Hell, it could be burned out today and we wouldn't know for another million years. In the same way, our sun is 8 or so light minutes away. If the sun were to suddenly explode right now, we wouldn't know about it for 8 minutes because that is how long it would take for the light of the explosion to get here.

Breathe.

So here's my findings. And I'm happy I did this because I really do understand it more now than I ever have. First things first, a light year is a measure of distance, not time. It is time in a way, but distance overall. Kind of in the same way a millimeter relates to a kilometer. A kilometer relates to a light year. On a much grander scale, but you see the point. It's just a way to get a distance without having to get into millions and billions and trillions of miles. But what I didn't realize is how far the stars and planets really are from Earth. Sometimes the stars look like you could just reach up and grab them, especially out in the country where we live. But the fact is we would have to come up with a rocket that traveled at the speed of light to get to any of them. And then it would still take you over 4 years to get to the closest one. That's just beyond me. But it does put into perspective how astronomically huge the universe is. And becomes as scary as the ocean for me. Because no matter what our technological advances may hold for us, we will NEVER know what's truly out there. Would it ever be possible to get to the edge of the universe? Even if there was an edge, we could never get there because it would just take too long. And that's traveling at the speed of light.

Wow, I feel like a scholar. And a complete and total nerd.

*thanks to Wikipedia, howstuffworks.com, and NASA

I'M DONE WITH NOT KNOWING!

I've decided I'm done trying to just let things be. In the past, when something didn't make sense to me, I would think really hard at first. But if I couldn't find a quick answer, I gave up. And just passed it off as one of those things I'll never know.

Not anymore.

Starting today, I'm going to research things that I don't understand. Read books, watch videos, whatever it takes until I fully grasp what is going on. I want to be able to answer the most mysterious questions ever presented and baffle people with my vast knowledge on the subject. Sounds nerdy, yes. But this is the stuff I find interesting anyway so I should have a little fun doing it.

Here's my list of empty questions to this point.

What is a light year?

I've never understood this. If we calculate distances here on earth with miles or meters, why do we have to have another method to calculate distances to planets and stars? And why put the word "year" in there and bring time into the equation? Doesn't make sense to me. Maybe theres a formula that can convert light years to miles? Probably not, but I'm going to figure this thing out.

How do cell phones work?

Or any cordless communication really. I don't understand how we can transmit data or voices in some invisible atmosphere and get something credible on the other end. Everyones pat answer is "Oh, it's satellites". Really? Ok, well how does my voice get there in the first place? Then find the other device and transfer my sound on the other end? I'm lost. And my iPhone, my God. Don't get me started.....

How the hell does a plane fly?

This may be one that even with all of the research in the world won't change my mind on not believing this. I just can't understand how a million ton piece of metal can glide through the air. Yea, I hear it now, it's all about aerodynamics and wind and all of that crap. But I still don't get it. And I'm not sure even knowing the answer to this one is going to be some "open eye" moment in my life. I just can't imagine there is going to be something I read that makes me say "Oh yeah, that makes sense. I get it now". We'll see. I can understand helecopters, and maybe even smaller prop planes. But not the liners.

How do fax machines work?

So we scan a document into a computer. Then it sends that paper (or multiple pieces of paper) in some computerized communication over a phone line. If you've ever seen a phone line there are usually 6-8 very small copper wires. How those things transmit your voice also is beyond me. But how it can transfer in detail a drawing, then go to another machine across the country (or world) and print exactly what was scanned in, well, it's fascinating to me. Along these same lines are wireless internet, wireless printing, wireless wireless wireless. Don't get it.

How does a camera work?

Do you really know? You would think a camera would have a human eye and small brain inside. But they obviously don't. So how in the world does it register what you point it at, freeze that image, and save it so you can have it later? Hmmm. And along those same lines, TV's have me fascinated too. Maybe I can be talked into the picture traveling through cable and being converted on your TV, but when you throw in the off air antenna and get the signal from the clouds, I'm lost.

What exactly is a leap year?

I think I might have a pretty good explanation for this one, although I'm not sure. I'm guessing that whoever came up with the idea of tracking time with seconds, minutes, and hours didn't factor in the exact calculations of the earths rotations, etc. And because of that, over time, we would end up being all jacked up with the seasons because of it. It would take a while, but non the less it would happen. So we have a leap year every 4 years (I think) to squash that chance. Seems like they would have been able to adjust the amount of time a second actually goes by and get it right, but maybe I'm wrong. We'll see.

High tides?

So this one is really confusing to me. The moon controls this right? Like the water levels in the oceans rise and fall depending on the times the moon is out? Is it because of some magnetic pull that the moon has with the water or what? I know, I'm starting to show a little bit of my stupidness I guess (if that's a word), but I have a feeling I'm not alone in some of these.

The northern lights?

I have no idea. Light traveling through icebergs maybe?

The woman's brain?

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I'm sure there's more that I'll think of along the way, but this is the first round of thoughts at the moment. And yes, I realize that most of these have to do with technology. But it's no secret that I'm a techy geek and this stuff interests me to no end so maybe that's why I want answers so bad. I'm not sure I'll even be satisfied once this little experiment is complete. But I do know that the day my son or daughter wakes up and asks me "Daddy, what is a light year?", I might be able to give them a little more information then than I would be able to now. And yes, my answer now would be "Ask your mother".

2009

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything. I find lately that I have absolutely NO time to do much of anything except try my best to raise to little animals. ;) And to everyone who has given me hell about the photos on this thing and not giving my daughter her due, let me explain a couple things. First off, the photos you see on the right side of the page are all embedded in the skeleton of the blog. Meaning I had to go into the actual website template and put them in, which took a while. And when blogger had the switchover to beta, I was lazy and didn’t do it. So I don’t benefit from the drag and drop technology and it just takes too long to modify. So I guess I’m just going to delete those old photos as to not give the impression that I like one of my children better than the other. Because I don’t. Come on…..

I think it’s getting to the point where I’m not going to really do this thing much anymore. It’s just too hard to find the time. Unless something really jumps out at me that I need to write about to get off my chest, the entries may be limited from this point forward. But for anyone who looks at this thing to get an idea of where the kids are and what we are doing, here is your update, 1/13/09.

We had a pretty good Christmas. It started with my annual sickness that I seem to get every year just befofe Christmas. And the good sharing father that I am, I decided to go ahead and give it to my son. And in the season of giving, he too decided to pass that sickness along to his sister. So we fought sickness a lot of the time over the break. But this was the most excited I’ve been at Christmas in a long time. I was pumped to see the kids faces this year. Especially Conner since he’s kind of getting the point now that Christmas is all about TOYS! ;) Santa brought him a sweet miniature John Deere Gator that he loved. Plus a play tent and a Dallas Cowboy football uniform and helmet. Which I was tempted to burn a couple weeks ago but I knew he would hate me for it. Addison got the normal random baby stuff but she’s just too young to really know anything yet. And if she’s anything like her mother, she may really never know anything. ;) All in all, we had a good holiday.

Santa also did something really interesting and brought Landy some Kama Sutra books. I’m not really sure what that white bearded jolly ole sex adict was getting at, but I think I like it. She really didn’t know what to think, but I sure did. And I’m still thinking about it now, every minute of every day.

I’m not sure what the new year holds for us. I’m hoping that the man upstairs opens a new door for me financial wise. And as soon as it presents itself, I’m not even going to knock. I’m busting in with wild abandon because I’m absolutely sick of where I am right now job wise. Sounds a little selfish to think about it that way when I really am blessed to even have a job in this awful economy. But there’s a lot to say for being in an unhealthy environment, even if it IS paying the bills. But I honestly think there is just something God is setting me up for that’s going to be life changing. And I’m more than ready.

Oh, and I’m reading “Blink” right now too. Almost done. If you’re a nerd like me and like all of those weird ways the brain functions, this is a really cool book. Almost done. Yes me, Mr. I hate books is reading another one. I’m getting older by the second.

I’ll post some photos of the kids at Christmas as soon as I can.

Kris Kringle

I can't really remember when I figured out the whole "Santa" thing. As I think back, I would have thought that it would have been a very traumatic experience for me. Not only did everything I ever knew end up being false, my parents were part of a bigger lie that they had kept going since I was old enough to remember. But since I don't remember actually finding out, then I guess I really didn't care that much.

But I do fear by own kids finding out eventually. I think there's an age somewhere around 7 or so where you start thinking a little more logically as a human being. And something in your little mind is telling you that it's just not possible for one guy to visit every house in the world in one night. Not to mention fit down chimneys, have flying reindeer (one with a red nose), and a HUGE bag of toys that would have to be as big as the state of Rhode Island. And what about if you don't have a chimney? Oh yeah, the parents tell you "he has keys to every door too". Ok, so not only is he carrying this HUGE red bag around, but he's also got a wooly mammoth sized back pack that has keys to everyone's house as well? And just how long would it take him to dig into that bag and find the key to your house? It already takes my Mom about 5 minutes to find our key on a small keychain that she carries. And hers is nowhere close to the size of keychain that Santa would have to have. Which again, would put a huge burden on being able to visit EVERY house in one night. And I can run my finger on any part of our fireplace and get black gunk in return. So when our tree is on the other side of the room, and he's coming down the chimney, why are there no black footprints on the carpet? Or black smudges on the presents? And the milk and cookies. If he tries to eat EVERYONE'S cookies that night, he will surely die a sugar death within a couple hours.

Santa is a great story. But maybe we would have been a little better off just telling the story to our kids as more of a "tradition" than fact. That way there would never be the huge let down once they found out he never existed? I guess for some, including myself, it doesn't matter because it obviously didn't affect me since I can't remember that day. But I've heard about others that it devastated. And I don't want that for my kids.

I heard on the radio the other day some people calling about this exact situation. And a lot of the stories were the same. Kid turns around 7 or 8, starts questioning the whole "Santa" thing, confronts parents about it, parents give in and tell the truth. Then immediately, the kid starts questioning the Easter Bunny and everything else the parents have ever told them. INCLUDING the story of Jesus. And who's to blame them? If we are lying to them all along about Santa, why wouldn't we be lying about Jesus too? I would hope that wouldn't be the case, but in a lot of ways Jesus is perceived as a mystical figure just like Santa and the Easter Bunny. So there could be some major problems that arise from just this little fuzzy feeling white lie we tell our kids at Christmas. I mean, would they really care if they weren't ever taught about Santa? They are still getting presents so who cares right? I think most kids would agree.

I love the whole story and season and feelings it brings. And the faces of your kids when they see those toys on Christmas morning is something you just can't describe as a parent. I just wonder sometimes if it would have been easier just to celebrate Christmas for what it really is. The birth of our savior. Not the flight of a fight white bearded man.

Might have been a little easier for parents.

Things I learned as a child?

I heard some folks on the radio asking the question, "Should you try to mend relationships with people you've known in your youth who hurt you terribly bad emotionally". We all have them I think. That time in school where some kid embarrassed you and you never forgave him or her for it. And the overall consensus was that you probably shouldn't worry about it because those people won't even remember the event. But if it happened in your adult life, you probably should make an effort to tell them how you feel.

Anyway, it got me thinking about my time as a kid. And the types of things that happened to me that I learned from. And these are the particular ones that stood out to me.

Don't sit on a bench with your hands in your coat pockets.

If your hands are in your pockets when the line of skipping kids comes running by you, you are in no position to try and catch yourself from falling off of the park bench. And can't prevent the chipped tooth and gashed forehead.

NEVER wear ProWings, no matter the cost.

This kind of depends on where you live I guess, but I lived in Plano. And with all of those rich kids in Plano, ProWings just make you look like a dweeb and get made fun of. So I will never buy my kids (at least my son's) shoes at Payless. That's one thing you just have to suck up and spend the extra money for. I won't put my kids through that hell.

On that same note, remember how you used to get new shoes.

I don't know if my parents were just blind to the fact or what, but growing up there was no way to get new things unless the previous ones were completely worn out. So in all of my infinite wisdom, I would get some scissors, cut a nice gash in the shoe somewhere, fray the edges a bit, and tell my parents that I needed new ones. Worked every time so to my kids, been there done that. Don't try it or you'll be wearing holy shoes for a while. And I don't mean the "Jesus" kind of holy.

Never try to fight a black belt, unless the location gives you an edge.

In an attempt to fit in, I would try and play wall ball with the cool kids in elementary school. But one kid didn't like them. And when the wall ball bounced off of the concrete and into the muddy yard area, this kid proceeded to bury our ball in the mud. And this was my PRIME opportunity to make a name for myself. So I strutted out there like a bad ass, in my ProWings mind you, and started fighting with the kid over the burial grounds. It was wet and he was never able to get footing enough to roundhouse kick me to the face. But it wasn't but a couple minutes until the teachers broke it up. Punishment was to scrape off all of the mud we tracked onto the concrete with rulers. Plus a meeting with my mother on kicking me out of the Plano school district. This was my third fight as a young lad.

You may not think you have a chance at fooling around with your babysitters, especially when they are twins, but believe me, it can happen.

I must have been just super young. I really can't remember how old I was. But I do remember our babysitters when we lived in Richardson, Stephanie and Suzanne. Two blonds that were about 2 years older than me. And both of which whom I lost my kissing virginity to. They may have looked at it as some sort of game or something, but I looked at it as paradise.

Learn to adapt to different areas of the countries taste differences.

When I lived in Massachusetts the kids would eat corn bread and syrup for breakfast. ALL THE TIME. Had to learn to accept it and like it.

On the other hand, don't accept eating eggs and soy sauce at any cost.

One of my Chinese friends in elementary school made me eat this at his house for breakfast one morning. The taste still make me want to puke and I haven't eaten soy sauce since that day 20 years ago.

There is no need to slide into second base in a game of kick ball, no matter the score.

That cost me the worlds worst strawberry. And yes, it was very painful. I have a tear in my eye just typing this.

Don't play American Gladiators in your living room in the dark.

Looking back, I think that may have been the start of my back problems. I had a few friends over. We split up into teams and started firing tennis balls in the dark at each other. Then the other team decided to bum rush my team with the largest couch cushion they could find. And it worked. I tried to impose my will on the cushion, but the cushion won. I bounced off like a rag doll, ricocheting into a large standing glass monument shelf thingy, fell down on the ground, then the glass thing came crashing down on top of me. Perfect timing. Baby sitter walked in, turned on the lights, and there's me on the ground grabbing my back in pain. That was proceeded by a phone call to my out of town Mom, telling her I was "Out of control and she just couldn't handle me anymore".

Realize that once in Junior High, the girls your age start looking at older guys.

I was chasing a girl forever. And once we got to junior high, she started talking to older high school kids. That got me a nice head thrust into the hall lockers by a big beefed up football player. Not good.

If you're going to drive your Mom's car at age 14 while she's out of town, remember to put the gas cap back on.

During Clinton's inauguration I believe, my Mom went to DC to some parties or something. So I had a week and a big decision on my hands. Do I take my Mom's car to school and become the youngest, coolest kid who drives and gives hot chicks rides home after school? Is that even a question? So I did, for a full week without a hitch. Except for not replacing the gas cap when I filled it up at the gas station. Luckily I was able to make my Mom believe she was brain dead and lost it before she left.

M80's won't blow up your GI Joes, but it will definitely scar them for life.

Since my Dad has always lived in Kaufman, I always had access to fireworks when my friends in Plano didn't. And I would bring back fireworks to Plano every year. Yes, dropping stink bombs in the halls of the school. But also having GI Joe blow up sessions where I would pull their torsoes apart, stick an M80 in there, and see if they made it out alive. You would think an M80 would blow them to smithereens, but no. Just turned them black in spots.

Throw a party as soon as you can in your high school career.

When I moved to Kaufman, I decided to throw a party my junior year that would rival anything anyone had seen before. Three day weekend. Kids sleeping in the back yard pasture on Houston St. 3 mini-bon fires burning. Lots of beer and misc. other things. And of course, chicks. I got caught that weekend when my Mother found me passed out in a mini-van with a girl. But amidst all of the punishment I got at home, I was immediately at elite status at the high school. And the party was talked about for weeks.

Don't spar with a veteran boxer, no matter how old he is.

I had a friend in Plano that was in boxing school for most of his life. And I had the crazy idea of sparring with him one day so that maybe he could teach me a thing or two. And he did. He taught me to not get too serious when sparring because no matter how big and bad you think you are with the gloves on, an experienced fighter can still knock you out with one punch. That's the only time I've ever been knocked out in my life.

Educate your parents on the correct usage of a "Beer Bong"

My poor mother was lost when she found mine. Assuming that I smoked something out of it. When I told her what you really do with it, she didn't buy it. It took my Grandmother reassuring her that that was indeed what it was for her to let it go.

If you're going to attempt to go mini white water rafting, think about transportation when finished.

Some friends and I decided to take the Dart Bus to Prestonwood Mall and buy some small little kid rafts and ores to go rafting down White Rock Creek that ran through close to our houses. Great idea. The rafting adventure brought snakes, golf balls, and 5 hours of endless fun. But we didn't really think about how we were going to get back home when we finished. The walk home with a raft on your back at the end after a long day was almost not worth the adventure.

Security guards are indeed fun to play with, just don't get caught.

Though I never got caught, it was close at times. But be sure to stick to the eggs and waterballoons, nothing that will do permanent damage.

Don't try to launch a water balloon launcher by yourself.

Though the instructions tell you that it's possible, it's not. And not safe at all. I was out in my front yard trying to do it one day. Holding the two ends with my extended arms, and pulling the water balloon back with my big toe. Supposedly you step forward, thus shooting the balloon from the other foot. Only if it sticks on your big toe, when it finally comes off it will thrust the water balloon directly into your face. And the sheer force can put an eye out. Or at least put you down on the ground in the fetal position for at least 20 minutes thinking that you'll never see again.

Windshield vs. Water Balloon, Water Balloon always wins.

I was a little too big for my britches in high school. I know, go figure. So during exam time our class would go out on the town and have water balloon wars. Driving down Washington and throwing water balloons like grenades at your passing fellow students. That teeters on the edge in itself, but when you get cornered at the car wash from in front and behind. The tailgate on the truck in front of you opens and there are two guys back there with a water balloon launcher armed and ready, call a truce immediately! Or you too will face the completely shattered windshield.

There are so many more, but those are the ones that came to mind. Such awful, but good memories. And makes me wonder how I ever got out of school alive.

Attention Fellow Nerds.... JAILBREAK YOUR IPHONE!!!

Man, if I wasn't so damn cool, I'd be the head of the entire nerd population. I actually might already be now that I think about it.....

I've always loved technology. Yes, just like Napolean Dynamite's brother Kip. So any time something presents itself as interesting to me in the world of technology, chances are I've checked it out. Especially if it's something I might be able to nerdly benefit from in some way.

It all started with my iPod. It's about 3 years old and the battery doesn't last very long anymore. There's no way I was going to send this thing into Apple to try and replace the battery because it would just cost too much. So instead, I went to Ebay, bought a new iPod video battery and tools, and installed it myself by watching a video on YouTube. All for the cost of $8.99. Good stuff. Anyway, while I was researching the battery replacement I came across some iPhone 3g's on eBay for sale. I was trying to find some with cracked screens that people were just trying to get rid of so I could replace the screen and resell. And while I was looking, I noticed that a lot of the phones are listed as "Jailbroken". Which I always thought was just unlocking the phone to use with other phone carriers. So you didn't have to be with AT&T to use and iPhone. But that wasn't it at all. It was soooo much better.

Jailbreaking an iPhone actually gives you a LOT more capabilities than Apple actually sets the phone up for. There are TONS of applications out there for free that Apple doesn't offer. But once Jailbroken, you can use the program that comes with Jailbreaking (Cydia) and download whatever you want from their own repositories. Things like themes to change the black background on the iPhone to whatever you want, along with the icons, etc. You can change the docking station to house 5 icons instead of just 4. You can change the camera on the phone to actually be able to zoom in and out. Not to mention you can download Cycorder that will turn your camera into a friggin video camera. Always wondered why they didn't do that, but the capability is there if it's Jailbroken. You can put your icons into folders so your screen aren't so junked up. You can allow alerts on your lock screen so you don't have to go into the main phone just to see what is alerting you. You can download a ringtone ripper that can actually change any of your music to ringtones. For free. Endless wallpapers. A Call Me program that puts a contact photo as one of your icons so you can just have one push dialing of anyone you want on your platform. A program called Intelliscreen that not only brings those alerts to your lock screen, but also allows Intellidial which creates a quick iTunes version of your favorites list to call people fast without having to open the springboard. And there's so much more. You don't have to pay for Apps once it's Jailbroken. But the phone still acts normal in the Apple App store and when connected to iTunes.

I know it sounds nerdy. And it is. But it's also friggin wonderful. And opens up so many more endless possibilities for the iPhone's functionality. It's like I've gotten a new toy.

If you want to know how to do it, let me know. It's actually really easy.

I know, master dork.

Click here for Jailbreaking iPhone 3g on PC. They have the Mac version too so just search on this website if you have a Mac.

NFL Week 9

SEASON TO THIS POINT: (50-51-3)

LAST WEEK: (8-4-2)

I think last week was my first winning week of the year. Picking games at a around 70%. Now THAT’S more like it. And I forgot to post Week 7 so you’ll have to just trust that I went (6-7-0).This is my opportunity to get over .500 this week. Here we go.

ATS:

Houston (+4.5) @ Minnesota HOUSTON
Jacksonville (-8) @ Cincinnati JACKSONVILLE
Tampa Bay (-9) @ Kansas City KANSAS CITY
Baltimore (+1.5) @ Cleveland BALTIMORE
NY Jets (+5.5) @ Buffalo BUFFALO
Arizona (+7) @ St. Louis ST. LOUIS
Detroit (+13) @ Chicago CHICAGO
Green Bay (+6) @ Tennessee GREEN BAY
Miami (+3.5) @ Denver DENVER
Atlanta (-3) @ Oakland OAKLAND
Dallas (+9) @ NY Giants DALLAS
Philadelphia (-7) @ Seattle SEATTLE
New England (+6) @ Indianapolis NEW ENGLAND
Pittsburgh (+2) @ Washington PITTSBURGH

NFL Week 7

SEASON TO THIS POINT: (36-40-1)

LAST WEEK: (6-8-0)

I'm slowly getting worse. Distancing myself from mediocrity. Only on the opposite end.

ATS:

Tennessee (-8.5) @ Kansas City TENNESSEE (probably wrong with KC coming off a bye)
San Diego (pick) @ Buffalo SAN DIEGO
Pittsburgh (-10) @ Cincinnati PITTSBURGH
Baltimore (+3) @ Miami BALTIMORE
Dallas (-7) @ St. Louis ST. LOUIS
Minnesota (+3) @ Chicago CHICAGO
New Orleans (+3) @ Carolina NEW ORLEANS
San Francisco (+10.5) @ NY Giants SAN FRANCISCO
Detroit (+9) @ Houston HOUSTON
NY Jets (-3) @ Oakland NY JETS
Cleveland (+7.5) @ Washington CLEVELAND
Indianapolis (-2.5) @ Green Bay GREEN BAY
Seattle (+11) @ Tampa Bay TAMPA BAY
Denver (+3) @ New England DENVER

Economic Turmoil, and why I HAVE to care....

Who knew that I would be paying attention to the news and what the economy was doing on a regular basis. For as much crap as I talk about politics, the economy, the election, etc., you would think that would be the last thing on my mind. And I really wish it was. But it's pretty amazing how much of a snowball effect this stupid crisis has and how in a weird in directional way is affecting my life in little Kaufman, Texas.

Our company is in a huge downsizing stage. That seems to be the norm around the country right now I guess. But we were able to avoid it for a little longer than most companies. Now it's caught up with us and a good chunk of my staff has already gotten the axe. Fortunately for now, I'm part of the "safe" group that won't have to face firing any time soon. But its a little nerve racking watching business fall off the map and wonder if the owners of this company are ready to invest their own money to keep it afloat during this rough time. And a part of me inside says this might be the end of them. Only because of how bad of people they are and that God seems to always pay back those individuals. And that may happen, even at the expense of people like me who could be put out on the street.

I honestly don't think it will get that far. But you have to look at the possibilities in times like these. We are already in money crisis in my household, and to think that it may get worse is giving me an ulcer as I type this. I let myself get comfortable with not having to pay daycare this summer since Landy was off work. And now that she's back, that's a quick $700+ a month extra that I wasn't ready for. And it's really put us in a bind. Worse than we've ever been before. And with the economy the way it is, there's no shot in hell at a raise, or bonus, or anything of the sort. This is the first time I've really had to look at what we have and think about how to survive in the near future. What am I going to have to give up? Is there anything extra I have that I don't need? What can I do on the weekends to make a little extra money? My mind is all over the place trying to figure this out.

But the main reason I'm watching the economic woes is because of another business deal I have on the horizon. My partners and I had worked hard on a proposal for investors in Mexico to do a large multi-million dollar development here in the United States. Around $40 Million to be exact. This was the kind of deal that is a life changer. And was really a shot in the dark as we were trying to better our financial lives. We sent them the package about a month ago. It was a business plan full of research and cost breakdowns. We did a really good job on it, and from all of the feedback we got from them when they received it, they agreed. So much so that they held a meeting a few weeks ago about how they wanted to handle this project. They are a family owned business in Mexico. Pretty much control all of the agricultural market in Mexico and even extending into the United States. So money is not an option with them. In fact, it costs them $4 Million just in overhead each month to run their business. But the timing has now turned awful. The peso lost around 25% in the last week or two, which has scared them a bit. And with a complex company like that, I'm sure there's a lot to take into consideration when the economy fluctuates the way it has. Even a small ripple creates a huge problem for them.

The good news for us is that they have all agreed that they want to do this. That's a HUGE deal. And very good news for us. The bad news is that they want to wait a while and see what the economy is going to do before they invest this kind of money with us. So it doesn't look like it's going to happen any time soon. And the longer the project sits, the more negative thinking that can go on and this thing could feasibly fall apart before it ever gets off the ground. And that's really depressing.

So there's no immediate relief in the near future to the money woes. This project has me monitoring the CNN websites on a daily basis just to see what the stock market is doing and how the dollar is holding up to other currencies. Things I was never interested in, but have been forced to analyze now since it really does effect the well being of my family in the future. I hate it, but that's how important it has become. And I can only hope that last weeks near stock market crash was the bottom we are hoping for and that its nothing but up from here. That the governments buy out plan is really going to work, not only for the long term but the short term as well. That the government will make it immediately easier for people to get loans and stimulate the economy. And that the worldwide leaders really do understand what has to be done on a world level so this thing doesn't fester here for years to come.

Some experts say its not going to get better until 2010. Not good news for me. But this works two ways. If the Mexico market keeps doing poorly, it becomes increasingly more interesting in investing in the United States instead of losing money in Mexico. And that can work to our advantage too.

I don't know. I'm just grasping at anything right now. It's in Gods hands. Its just the most difficult thing we have to realize that it's never on OUR time. Its on HIS. I'm just hoping that HIS time is soon, really soon.

NFL Week 6 Picks

SEASON TO THIS POINT: (36-38-2) (3-4)

LAST WEEK: (6-6-1) (1-1)

Talk about mediocrity. This crap is so hard. But I've learned in the past few weeks that it may be better to look at teasing totals than actual spreads. Seems a little easier to pick, but who knows. Every time I think I come up with a good plan, it blows up in my face.

And I'm going to just stop posting the teasers. I always end up changing them anyway so it really doesn't matter.

This week:

ATS:

Oakland (+7.5) @ New Orleans NEW ORLEANS
Baltimore (+4.5) @ Indianapolis BALTIMORE
Cincinnati (+6) @ NY Jets CINCINNATI
Carolina (+1.5) @ Tampa Bay CAROLINA
Detroit (+13) @ Minnesota MINNESOTA
Chicago (-3) @ Atlanta ATLANTA
Miami (+3) @ Houston HOUSTON
St. Louis (+14) @ Washington WASHINGTON
Jacksonville (+3.5) @ Denver JACKSONVILLE
Philadelphia (-5.5) @ San Francisco SAN FRANCISCO
Dallas (-6) @ Arizona ARIZONA
Green Bay (+3) @ Seattle GREEN BAY
New England (+6) @ San Diego NEW ENGLAND
NY Giants (-8) @ Cleveland NY GIANTS

NFL Week 5 Picks

SEASON TO THIS POINT: (30-32-1) (2-3)

LAST WEEK: (5-8-0) (0-1)

I'm back.... Here's the old Chet. Doing well on the losing side of things. I knew the first two weeks were an aberation. I'm 2 games down from 50%. Maybe I can cut that a little closer this week.

ATS:

Indianapolis (-3) @ Houston INDIANAPOLIS
Tennessee (-3) @ Baltimore BALTIMORE
San Diego (-7) @ Miami MIAMI
Kansas City (+10) @ Carolina KANSAS CITY
Washington (+6) @ Philadelphia PHILADELPHIA
Chicago (-3.5) @ Detroit CHICAGO
Atlanta (?) @ Green Bay NP
Seattle (+7.5) @ NY Giants SEATTLE
Tampa Bay (+3.5) @ Denver DENVER
New England (-3) @ San Francisco NEW ENGLAND
Buffalo (pick) @ Arizona BUFFALO
Cincinnati (+17) @ Dallas CINCINNATI
Pittsburgh (+4) @ Jacksonville JACKSONVILLE
Minnesota (+3.5) @ New Orleans MINNESOTA

Sweethearts:

Jacksonville (+6), New England (+7), Carolina (pick)
Indianapolis (+7), Tennessee (+7), Philadelphia (+4)

Jesus Is My Friend?

Will you go straight to hell if you make fun of this video?


I hope not because I'm laughing my A off. I think we should sing this in church. Seriously.